lets leave the gloom & doom for awhile

Hahaha I remember that social worker!!!

Ok, try this one…….

Three spring breakers finally sobered up long enough to learn of the ongoing virus problem, and since they were about out of money and condoms in Ft. Lauderdale being in shorter supply than TP, decided it was time to head for home. Fearing they might get sick if they got on a plane, they opted to try hitch hiking home. Made pretty good time the first day……all the way to south Georgia, where they decided to hole up for the night.

Only place they could afford was a run down Motel Patel………whose normal rate was only $25, but old boy at the desk sized them up as not too bright and desperate, so charged them $30 instead. A couple hours went by and guilt set in, so he calls in one of his hispanic housekeepers, handed her five $1 bills, with instructions to refund the money. Due to language barrier, she misunderstood, and only gave them three $1’s back and kept the other two. Hey, thats what she thought she heard.

So to check the math, each guy paid $10, but each got $1 back, so each only paid $9. So 3 x $9 = $27, plus the $2 the maid kept. So that makes $29. Where did the other $1 go????

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modirt wrote: Ok, try this one……. Three spring breakers finally sobered up long enough to learn of the ongoing virus problem, and since they were about out of money and condoms in Ft. Lauderdale being in shorter supply than TP, decided it was time to head for home. Fearing they might get sick if they got on a plane, they opted to try hitch hiking home. Made pretty good time the first day……all the way to south Georgia, where they decided to hole up for the night. Only place they could afford was a run down Motel Patel………whose normal rate was only $25, but old boy at the desk sized them up as not too bright and desperate, so charged them $30 instead. A couple hours went by and guilt set in, so he calls in one of his hispanic housekeepers, handed her five $1 bills, with instructions to refund the money. Due to language barrier, she misunderstood, and only gave them three $1’s back and kept the other two. Hey, thats what she thought she heard. So to check the math, each guy paid $10, but each got $1 back, so each only paid $9. So 3 x $9 = $27, plus the $2 the maid kept. So that makes $29. Where did the other $1 go????

Just keep at it Joe.

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JohnColo wrote: My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started........

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

  Yep we missed ya.

Well Larry, are you gonna try and seduce her?