lets leave the gloom & doom for awhile
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=169538
Printed Date: 06 May 2024 at 3:19pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: lets leave the gloom & doom for awhile
Posted By: desertjoe
Subject: lets leave the gloom & doom for awhile
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2020 at 9:56pm
Replies:
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2020 at 9:57pm
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'nother one,,,,, A social worker from Ohio who was recently transferred to the mountains
of North Georgia, was on the first tour of his new territory when he
came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life. Intrigued, he
went up and knocked on the door.
'Anybody home?' he asked. 'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door. 'Is your father there?' asked the social worker. 'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid. 'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker. 'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid. 'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family? ''Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door. 'This is the outhouse!'😮 |
Posted By: allisrutledge
Date Posted: 27 Mar 2020 at 10:12pm
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Hahaha I remember that social worker!!! ------------- Allis Chalmers still exist in my mind and barns |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 28 Mar 2020 at 10:41am
Thank you Joe, I needed that.  I feel better already.------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: modirt
Date Posted: 28 Mar 2020 at 1:03pm
|
Ok, try this one……. Three spring breakers finally sobered up long enough to learn of the ongoing virus problem, and since they were about out of money and condoms in Ft. Lauderdale being in shorter supply than TP, decided it was time to head for home. Fearing they might get sick if they got on a plane, they opted to try hitch hiking home. Made pretty good time the first day……all the way to south Georgia, where they decided to hole up for the night. Only place they could afford was a run down Motel Patel………whose normal rate was only $25, but old boy at the desk sized them up as not too bright and desperate, so charged them $30 instead. A couple hours went by and guilt set in, so he calls in one of his hispanic housekeepers, handed her five $1 bills, with instructions to refund the money. Due to language barrier, she misunderstood, and only gave them three $1’s back and kept the other two. Hey, thats what she thought she heard. So to check the math, each guy paid $10, but each got $1 back, so each only paid $9. So 3 x $9 = $27, plus the $2 the maid kept. So that makes $29. Where did the other $1 go???? |
Posted By: Bill_MN
Date Posted: 28 Mar 2020 at 4:37pm
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That's a good one Modirt, had me for a minute but I see what you did. I won't spill it though.... ------------- 1951 WD #78283, 1918 Case 28x50 Thresher #76738, Case Centennial B 2x16 Plow |
Posted By: DiyDave
Date Posted: 28 Mar 2020 at 7:41pm
|
[TUBE]AA2r6rca2v4[/TUBE]
------------- Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need! |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 29 Mar 2020 at 9:33am
 ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: Scott B
Date Posted: 30 Mar 2020 at 10:27am
Had to sit down with Ole Jethro Clampett to get some extra fingers but done got it ciphered! ------------- D17 Series 1 Allis B- 1939 Allis B- 1945 |
modirt wrote:Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2020 at 4:46am
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Well,,Chit,,,,,guess I'm gonna have to call ole Jethro cause I still get $29,,,,,,
|
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2020 at 7:20am
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Just keep at it Joe. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2020 at 7:29am
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SO,,,,,,,,who kept the lost dollar,,,??
|
Posted By: DiyDave
Date Posted: 03 Apr 2020 at 8:14pm
|
[TUBE]2yKue4Szzcc[/TUBE]
------------- Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need! |
Posted By: JohnColo
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 11:05am
|
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect." And then the fight started........ |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 11:15am
Good one John,,,,, |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 11:15am
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near as good as mine." Woulda been World War !!! 
------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: JohnColo
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 1:26pm
|
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school I asked her, "Do you know him?" "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on And then the fight started... |
Posted By: steve(ill)
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 3:35pm
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JOHN !!! Now BOTH THEM ARE REAL FUNNY !! ------------- Like them all, but love the "B"s. |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 07 Apr 2020 at 4:12pm
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Yep we missed ya. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: Larry Miller
Date Posted: 08 Apr 2020 at 7:26pm
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With all this stay at home stuff, I am unable to attenend auctions and tractor shows. Found a strange lady on my couch. She says she is my wife. She seems nice. ------------- I used to be young and stupid, now I am not young anymore. |
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 09 Apr 2020 at 8:18am
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Well Larry, are you gonna try and seduce her? ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: Red Bank
Date Posted: 09 Apr 2020 at 12:06pm
| I like the part “she seems nice”. I have laughed all morning to myself about that post I can relate to it. Think I will pass Johns jokes on to the wife this evening see how that goes. Lol |