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humor??? for some

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FloydKS View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FloydKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: humor??? for some
    Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 6:56am

El Dorado, Kansas | An agricultural airplane pilot made a serious mistake this morning while operating his aircraft under the influence of alcohol, accidentally dumping his cargo of manure over cars, houses, and residents.

According to the police report, 51-year old Barry Wood had a  blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.48% when he was arrested, six times the legal limit allowed to drive a motor vehicle and 12 times the legal limit allowed to operate a plane.

He was supposed to spread 4 tons of liquid manure over fields belonging to his employer but his capacities were visibly too impaired.

 “So drunk that he had urinated on himself”

He turned in the wrong direction, heading over the nearby city of El Dorado instead of the fields he was supposed to spray, before releasing his smelly cargo.

Residents of the city were taken off guard as tons of liquid manure started raining over the city, causing several car accidents and totally ruining an outdoor wedding ceremony.

Butler County Sheriff’s Office spokesman, Lt. John Fitzpatrick, says the emergency lines received over 900 calls in less than 5 minutes after the incident.

“Everyone was freaking out, complaining about falling from the skies, fearing a biological attack from Islamic terrorists or the Democrats.”

The deputies were rapidly able to identify the plane behind the incident and were waiting near the landing strip when Mr. Wood returned from his venture.

“We’re a small community. We knew Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”

Butler County Sheriff’s Office spokesman, Lt. John Fitzpatrick, says the accused was so drunk that he had urinated on himself and wasn’t able to stand up when the deputies arrested him only a minute or two after his landing.

Mr. Wood will now face a total of 269 criminal charges, including performing an aviation function while over the prescribed alcohol limit, aggravated assault and criminal damage to property.

If found guilty on all charges, he faces a total of 1235 years in prison and a fine of $2,335,500 and his pilot’s license could also be suspended by the FAA if he is found guilty of flying while under the influence of alcohol.

His trial is scheduled to begin in January at the Butler County Courthouse.

Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die
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fixer1958 View Drop Down
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Joined: 13 Feb 2010
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fixer1958 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 7:16am
Well he landed the plane OK.......
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 7:59am

“We’re a small community. We knew Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”

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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:01am

  UMMmmm,,if he is a dem,,,,errrrr,,,,never mind,,it's Sunday,,,,
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JW in MO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JW in MO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:18am
Hey, that says Eldorado, Kansas, I think that should be Eldorado Springs, MO.
We Missourians take our drunken pilots and crane operators seriously. LOL
What do you want to bet instead of getting confused he said to himself, "Oh now this $%@t is going to be funny."
Maximum use of available resources!
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chaskaduo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chaskaduo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:42am
I agree JW, alcohol will do that for ya. Beer
1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Darrell G (MN) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Darrell G (MN) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 11:59am
I question whether this is real

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steve(ill) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:06pm
I don't know if it is real........... but it is FUNNY !
 
“Everyone was freaking out, complaining about falling from the skies, fearing a biological attack from Islamic terrorists or the Democrats.”
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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steve(ill) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:07pm
IF ????
 
If found guilty on all charges, he faces a total of 1235 years in prison and a fine of $2,335,500 and his pilot’s license could also be suspended by the FAA if he is found guilty of flying while under the influence of alcohol.
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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JW in MO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JW in MO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:08pm
Originally posted by Darrell G (MN) Darrell G (MN) wrote:

I question whether this is real

 
Well of course it is, it was on FB!  Annnnd there are pictures and everything.
Maximum use of available resources!
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thendrix View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote thendrix Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:32pm
Originally posted by JW in MO JW in MO wrote:

Originally posted by Darrell G (MN) Darrell G (MN) wrote:

I question whether this is real

 
Well of course it is, it was on FB!  Annnnd there are pictures and everything.


"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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weiner View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote weiner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:15pm
Mom always said  just be thankful that cows can`t fly.
Real heros wear dogtags, not capes.
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LouSWPA View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouSWPA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:28pm
It does have the smell and feel of a 'less than truthful' story.

I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
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Hubert (Ga)engine7 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Hubert (Ga)engine7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:33pm
That wasn't Censored he was spraying, it was political promises! Darn good pilot if he could land that plane safely when he was so plastered he couldn't walk.
Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TimCNY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 4:46pm
Well, 'tis the season of impeachment articles being drawn up, so ---
Reminds me of Randy Quaid in "Independence Day."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 6:34pm
We'll have to get tranny to check it on snopes!  Wink
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shameless dude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2019 at 11:09pm
shucks...I would have done the same thing...sober!
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JohnCO View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnCO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2019 at 11:15pm
Good thing Dale can't fly!

Looked it up, it was reported by World News Daily, which is a farce news outfit, like the Onion.  They did have a real picture of manure being sprayed from spreaders onto cars somewhere in France, pretty impressive.

Four tons of manure would need a pretty big plane to haul it, like a C130 or something.



Edited by JohnCO - 09 Dec 2019 at 11:24pm
"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer"
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Greg (Hillsboro, OH) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Greg (Hillsboro, OH) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Dec 2019 at 11:29am
Originally posted by shameless dude shameless dude wrote:

shucks...I would have done the same thing...sober!

And I'm sure the mayor would have been none to happy at what he received!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iowallis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Dec 2019 at 7:06pm

“We’re a small community. We knew Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”


Sounds like a scene out of the Andy Griffith show with Otis the drunk. Wonder if Aunt Bea is going to bring some fried chicken down to the jail for him?




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