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FloydKS 
Orange Level
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: S E Kansas
Points: 8118
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 Topic: humor??? for some
Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 6:56am |
El Dorado, Kansas | An agricultural airplane pilot made a serious
mistake this morning while operating his aircraft under the influence of
alcohol, accidentally dumping his cargo of manure over cars, houses,
and residents.
According to the police report, 51-year old Barry Wood had a blood
alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.48% when he was arrested, six times the
legal limit allowed to drive a motor vehicle and 12 times the legal
limit allowed to operate a plane.
He was supposed to spread 4 tons of liquid manure over fields
belonging to his employer but his capacities were visibly too impaired.
“So drunk that he had urinated on himself”
He turned in the wrong direction, heading over the nearby city of El
Dorado instead of the fields he was supposed to spray, before releasing
his smelly cargo.
Residents of the city were taken off guard as tons of liquid manure
started raining over the city, causing several car accidents and totally
ruining an outdoor wedding ceremony.
Butler County Sheriff’s Office spokesman, Lt. John Fitzpatrick, says
the emergency lines received over 900 calls in less than 5 minutes after
the incident.
“Everyone was freaking out,
complaining about  falling from the skies, fearing a biological
attack from Islamic terrorists or the Democrats.”
The deputies were rapidly able to identify the plane behind the
incident and were waiting near the landing strip when Mr. Wood returned
from his venture.
“We’re a small community. We knew
Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we
guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”
 Butler
County Sheriff’s Office spokesman, Lt. John Fitzpatrick, says the
accused was so drunk that he had urinated on himself and wasn’t able to
stand up when the deputies arrested him only a minute or two after his
landing. Mr. Wood will now face a total of 269 criminal charges, including
performing an aviation function while over the prescribed alcohol limit,
aggravated assault and criminal damage to property.
If found guilty on all charges, he faces a total of 1235 years in
prison and a fine of $2,335,500 and his pilot’s license could also be
suspended by the FAA if he is found guilty of flying while under the
influence of alcohol.
His trial is scheduled to begin in January at the Butler County Courthouse.
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Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die
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fixer1958
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Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2434
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 7:16am |
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Well he landed the plane OK.......
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13576
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 7:59am |
“We’re a small community. We knew
Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we
guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13576
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:01am |
UMMmmm,,if he is a dem,,,,errrrr,,,,never mind,,it's Sunday,,,,
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JW in MO
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Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Location: South KC Area
Points: 2618
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:18am |
Hey, that says Eldorado, Kansas, I think that should be Eldorado Springs, MO. We Missourians take our drunken pilots and crane operators seriously.  What do you want to bet instead of getting confused he said to himself, "Oh now this $%@t is going to be funny."
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Maximum use of available resources!
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chaskaduo
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Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 8:42am |
I agree JW, alcohol will do that for ya. 
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Darrell G (MN)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Green Isle MN
Points: 1496
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 11:59am |
I question whether this is real
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steve(ill)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 81140
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:06pm |
I don't know if it is real........... but it is FUNNY ! “Everyone was freaking out, complaining about  falling from the skies, fearing a biological attack from Islamic terrorists or the Democrats.”
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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steve(ill)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 81140
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:07pm |
IF ???? If found guilty on all charges, he faces a total of 1235 years in prison and a fine of $2,335,500 and his pilot’s license could also be suspended by the FAA if he is found guilty of flying while under the influence of alcohol.
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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JW in MO
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Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Location: South KC Area
Points: 2618
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:08pm |
 Darrell G (MN) wrote:
I question whether this is real
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Well of course it is, it was on FB! Annnnd there are pictures and everything.
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Maximum use of available resources!
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thendrix
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Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Location: Fairmount GA
Points: 4881
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 12:32pm |
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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weiner
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Joined: 19 May 2012
Location: Cadillac, Mi.
Points: 4304
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:15pm |
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Mom always said just be thankful that cows can`t fly.
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Real heros wear dogtags, not capes.
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LouSWPA
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Clinton, Pa
Points: 24262
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:28pm |
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It does have the smell and feel of a 'less than truthful' story.
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I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Jackson Cnty,GA
Points: 6291
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 1:33pm |
That wasn't  he was spraying, it was political promises! Darn good pilot if he could land that plane safely when he was so plastered he couldn't walk.
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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TimCNY
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Joined: 15 Apr 2014
Location: Upstate NY
Points: 1551
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 4:46pm |
Well, 'tis the season of impeachment articles being drawn up, so --- Reminds me of Randy Quaid in "Independence Day."
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I need more than 200 characters for my "signature." I'd love to see that changed to 250!
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DiyDave
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 51674
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Posted: 08 Dec 2019 at 6:34pm |
We'll have to get tranny to check it on snopes! 
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shameless dude
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Joined: 10 Apr 2017
Location: east NE
Points: 13607
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Posted: 09 Dec 2019 at 11:09pm |
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shucks...I would have done the same thing...sober!
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JohnCO
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Niwot Colo
Points: 8992
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Posted: 09 Dec 2019 at 11:15pm |
Good thing Dale can't fly!
Looked it up, it was reported by World News Daily, which is a farce news outfit, like the Onion. They did have a real picture of manure being sprayed from spreaders onto cars somewhere in France, pretty impressive.
Four tons of manure would need a pretty big plane to haul it, like a C130 or something.
Edited by JohnCO - 09 Dec 2019 at 11:24pm
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"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer"
Allis Express participant
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Greg (Hillsboro, OH)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Hillsboro, OH
Points: 1174
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Posted: 10 Dec 2019 at 11:29am |
shameless dude wrote:
shucks...I would have done the same thing...sober! |
And I'm sure the mayor would have been none to happy at what he received!!!!
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iowallis
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Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Location: North Iowa
Points: 338
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Posted: 11 Dec 2019 at 7:06pm |
“We’re a small community. We knew Barry was a drunkard and we saw him fly hazardously before, so we guessed it was him. But I had never seen him this drunk before.”
Sounds like a scene out of the Andy Griffith show with Otis the drunk. Wonder if Aunt Bea is going to bring some fried chicken down to the jail for him?
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