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Funny,,,,, |
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:46pm |
~~~~~~~~~~ An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad , what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." ![]() |
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
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A stutterer walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc-c-c-tor, my s-s-s-stuttering is a real p-p-pain in the n-n-neck, please help." The doctor examines him and finally finds the root of the problem: "Well, sir, the thing is, your * is too big and takes up too much blood that would normally go in the brain. We have to operate and take at least a half of it off." A month after the operation the stutterer comes back for a check-up and sighs, "Doctor, it really helped my stuttering and that is a relief. But my wife is very unhappy with the situation. Could the amputated bit be sewn back on, please?" Doctor: "Sorry, but n-n-n-n-no." |
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
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A priest went into a Washington, D.C., barbershop, got his hair cut and asked how much he owed. "No charge, Father," the barber said. "I consider it a service to the Lord." when the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. A few days later a police officer came in. "How much do I owe you?" the cop asked after his haircut. "No charge, officer," the barber answered. "I consider it a service to my community." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts on the stoop along with a thank you note from the police officer. A few days after that, a Senator walked in for a haircut. "How much do I owe you?" he asked afterward. "No charge," the barber replied. "I consider it a service to my country." The next morning when he arrived at the shop, the barber found a dozen Senators waiting on the stoop. ![]() |
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
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Let there be humor in our world,,,,,,, ![]() |
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chaskaduo ![]() Orange Level ![]() Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5200 |
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I don't get it.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Hubert (Ga)engine7 ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Jackson Cnty,GA Points: 6465 |
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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iowallis ![]() Silver Level ![]() Joined: 04 Jun 2017 Location: North Iowa Points: 370 |
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An older lady is at the doctor's office when she mentions her problem with "silent gas". She mentions that she suffers from it at church, playing cards with her lady friends, at the grocery store, and she was even suffering from it right now in the doctors office.
The doctor says "the first thing we need to do is check your hearing".
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Tbone95 ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 31 Aug 2012 Location: Michigan Points: 12155 |
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Well done Joe!
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SteveM C/IL ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Shelbyville IL Points: 8612 |
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check yer hearing...Yep
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Clay ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Udall, Kansas Points: 9870 |
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Conjoined twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
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chaskaduo ![]() Orange Level ![]() Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5200 |
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I don't get it.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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thendrix ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 04 Feb 2013 Location: Fairmount GA Points: 5084 |
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An elderly man went for a physical and while his ears were being checked the Dr says "hmm there's something in there". He used his tweezers to pull it out and said "hmm...it's a suppository". The man says "can I use your phone?" The Dr replies "sure! Who do you wish to call?" The old man replied "I'm going to call my wife and tell her I think I know where I put my hearing aide."
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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thendrix ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 04 Feb 2013 Location: Fairmount GA Points: 5084 |
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A lot of cars are right hand drive in Europe Edited by thendrix - 16 Jun 2018 at 8:12am |
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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chaskaduo ![]() Orange Level ![]() Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5200 |
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That's funny!
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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DiyDave ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Gambrills, MD Points: 54039 |
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A gynecologist and a proctologist are walkin down a hall, in a hospital. Proctologist reaches over to his shirt pocket to find a pen, to write something on a chart he is carrying. Instead of finding a pen, he finds his thermometer. Looks at it a second, and says, Damn, some as
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thendrix ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 04 Feb 2013 Location: Fairmount GA Points: 5084 |
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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Clay ![]() Orange Level ![]() ![]() Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Udall, Kansas Points: 9870 |
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This is very important and you may want to share it with Family and Friends.
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desertjoe ![]() Orange Level Access ![]() ![]() Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13692 |
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That right there is a great one,,,, ![]() ![]() |
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