Funny,,,,,
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=151265
Printed Date: 15 Nov 2024 at 9:43pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Funny,,,,,
Posted By: desertjoe
Subject: Funny,,,,,
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:46pm
|
~~~~~~~~~~ An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad , what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." 
|
Replies:
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:49pm
|
A stutterer walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc-c-c-tor, my s-s-s-stuttering is a real p-p-pain in the n-n-neck, please help." The doctor examines him and finally finds the root of the problem: "Well, sir, the thing is, your * is too big and takes up too much blood that would normally go in the brain. We have to operate and take at least a half of it off." A month after the operation the stutterer comes back for a check-up and sighs, "Doctor, it really helped my stuttering and that is a relief. But my wife is very unhappy with the situation. Could the amputated bit be sewn back on, please?" Doctor: "Sorry, but n-n-n-n-no." |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:53pm
|
A priest went into a Washington, D.C., barbershop, got his hair cut and asked how much he owed. "No charge, Father," the barber said. "I consider it a service to the Lord." when the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. A few days later a police officer came in. "How much do I owe you?" the cop asked after his haircut. "No charge, officer," the barber answered. "I consider it a service to my community." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts on the stoop along with a thank you note from the police officer. A few days after that, a Senator walked in for a haircut. "How much do I owe you?" he asked afterward. "No charge," the barber replied. "I consider it a service to my country." The next morning when he arrived at the shop, the barber found a dozen Senators waiting on the stoop. 
|
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:54pm
|
Let there be humor in our world,,,,,,,
|
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 13 Jun 2018 at 9:56pm
|
I don't get it. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 14 Jun 2018 at 4:45am
 ------------- Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God. |
Posted By: iowallis
Date Posted: 14 Jun 2018 at 8:50pm
|
An older lady is at the doctor's office when she mentions her problem with "silent gas". She mentions that she suffers from it at church, playing cards with her lady friends, at the grocery store, and she was even suffering from it right now in the doctors office. The doctor says "the first thing we need to do is check your hearing".
|
Posted By: Tbone95
Date Posted: 15 Jun 2018 at 6:57am
| Well done Joe! |
Posted By: SteveM C/IL
Date Posted: 15 Jun 2018 at 8:51am
| check yer hearing...Yep |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 15 Jun 2018 at 6:02pm
Conjoined twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
|
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 4:21am
|
|
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 7:32am
|
I don't get it. ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: thendrix
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 8:11am
|
An elderly man went for a physical and while his ears were being checked the Dr says "hmm there's something in there". He used his tweezers to pull it out and said "hmm...it's a suppository". The man says "can I use your phone?" The Dr replies "sure! Who do you wish to call?" The old man replied "I'm going to call my wife and tell her I think I know where I put my hearing aide." ------------- "Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan |
Posted By: thendrix
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 8:12am
A lot of cars are right hand drive in Europe ------------- "Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan |
chaskaduo wrote:Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 8:25am
|
That's funny! ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: DiyDave
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 6:11pm
A gynecologist and a proctologist are walkin down a hall, in a hospital. Proctologist reaches over to his shirt pocket to find a pen, to write something on a chart he is carrying. Instead of finding a pen, he finds his thermometer. Looks at it a second, and says, Damn, some as
 le has my pen... |
Posted By: thendrix
Date Posted: 16 Jun 2018 at 9:14pm
|
------------- "Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 17 Jun 2018 at 12:07am
This is very important and you may want to share it with Family and Friends.
|
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 17 Jun 2018 at 10:01am
|
That right there is a great one,,,,
|