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Bet y'll ain't heard this one,,,,

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desertjoe View Drop Down
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    Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 11:23am

 Last spring my son fell for the Grandson's plea,,"Dad, I want some Chickies,,,AND some Duckies",,,and,,,and,,I'll take care of em and feed em every day"  CHIT,,,Ya'll know who wount up with them chores,,,!!
 Anyways, I seen something that I NEVER seen or thought about this morning,,,,We wount up with 3 hens (CHICKENS) that are BIG but have not started to lay any eggs,,Plus two BIG ducks ,,up to today I had no idea as to Duck's sex but when I looked out the kitchen window bout 6 am,,the bigger of the two ducks was trying to mount one of the hens and finally got positioned to where it looked like he got "it" done,,,,Both him and the hen then dusted themselves off and went on with their business,,,WTH,,,,???  Is this even possible???
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Morpar55 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Morpar55 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 11:43am
All I have to say is post pictures once the eggs hatch! And will you call the results "dickens" or "chucks"?
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DiyDave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 5:49pm
Where do you think turducken comes from?Wink
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 8:05pm
Originally posted by Morpar55 Morpar55 wrote:

All I have to say is post pictures once the eggs hatch! And will you call the results "dickens" or "chucks"?


  CHIT,,,,Morpar,,,,I ain't heard one THAT GOOD in a LONG time,,,,,LOLLOLLOL

 I,,,,I,,,really needed that laugh,,! Ya made my day there, Pard,,,,,,!!!!
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 8:14pm

  BUT,,,to keep the story going,,,,,I seen thet sob doing it again,,TWICE,,this afternoon on  now two of the hens,,,finally I couldn't stand it and had to go out there and whup on him with my cap,,then the sob tried to charge me so I kicked him right in the arse as he was runnin off,,,Dang them ducks can make a lot of noise when they is agitated can't they,,,,I think the smaller of the two ducks is a female cause he be mountin thet one several times these few days,,,, See,,he is so fat and short legged,,he just waddles around and can't climb up into the upper section of the coop where the hens lay down so they be safe till they come out tamarrow,,,I'm gonna get his attention then,,,,,
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 8:17pm
Originally posted by DiyDave DiyDave wrote:

Where do you think turducken comes from?Wink


 Yep, I have heard that one,,,susspossed to be a hen inside a duck inside a turkey,,,then cooked all at a time,,,susspossed to be a delicasy somewheres,,,,,,LOL
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steve(ill) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 8:22pm
A drake should not be allowed to mate with hens for several reasons. 
  1. Drakes have external sex organs (phallus) which will harm the hen when mated. Vent prolapse is a common issue and if left untreated can greatly harm and even kill your hen. The drake’s phallus can puncture your hen’s internal organs, cause bleeding, and introduce bacteria and infection. 
  2. Drakes are much more violent during mating than a rooster. This often means that a hen that is mated by a drake suffers from torn skin and bleeding on the back of their neck. Occasionally, a hens neck may even get broken. Drakes are called “wife beaters” in the fowl industry because of how rough they are on their mates. Hens can even suffer from internal bleeding from the rough and repeated mating of a drake. 
  3. Drakes have a very active sex drive. In the spring and early summer, a single drake can keep a dozen ducks mated. A single drake can actually cause mating harm to even a duck if there aren’t enough hen ducks around to mate. He can over mate his own species, and if he goes after hens, its very likely that he will over-mate the hens. If they survive the first few attempts at mating, they won’t survive the repeated assaults. 




Edited by steve(ill) - 06 Dec 2021 at 8:24pm
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 9:36pm
   Well,,,the neighbor's reservoir down the road is fixin to get a new resident in bout 22 minutes,,,,si-o-nara to him,,,,
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shameless dude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shameless dude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Dec 2021 at 10:09pm
separate them....like ya do wit yer kids when they gits old nuff!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote klinemar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 6:19am
Duck for dinner!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnColo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 12:42pm
Hey, he's just doing what comes natural.  You need to get some lady ducks to keep him happy!
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fixer1958 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fixer1958 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 3:11pm
I kept ducks a good number of years.Pekins, Swedes Rouens and Muskovies. Mostly for eating. Domestic ducks won't sit on a nest long enough. Had a couple of chicken hens do it and we had one little duckling we called Chuck.
Ate all the domestic ducks and got Muskovies. They breed like rats and you can be over run in a summer. Good eating and aren't noisey like the others that never shut up.
Ate them all cause I was tired of them chitting on the back porch.

You need more hens Joe
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 4:41pm
Originally posted by fixer1958 fixer1958 wrote:

I kept ducks a good number of years.Pekins, Swedes Rouens and Muskovies. Mostly for eating. Domestic ducks won't sit on a nest long enough. Had a couple of chicken hens do it and we had one little duckling we called Chuck.
Ate all the domestic ducks and got Muskovies. They breed like rats and you can be over run in a summer. Good eating and aren't noisey like the others that never shut up.
Ate them all cause I was tired of them chitting on the back porch.

You need more hens Joe


  Yeah, Fixer,,,you reminded me of my early days out here when we moved from town. I told my wife,,we are country folks now,,,so we gots to have chickies and hogs and hosses and,,,and,,maybe some cows,,, Well, I did get a couple of Shetland ponies and after one of them drug the youngest boy thru some cactus,,him a'hollarin and screamin all the time,,she made me get rid of them ponies as they wanted to eat ALL THE TIME,,,!!!Then my younger brother talked me into buyin a couple of young pigs, so we built a pen way back at the back fence,,,but he never would come out to help or buy feed and clean and all thet chit,, then he come out one day and said,," Hey "MY" pig is much bigger than ,,,,yours,,,! I told him NO the littlest one is you'rn,,since you never come out to help SO,, I get to pick which is whos.
  Well, that bro of mine come out that night and spray painted one with "Leo" and the other one "Joe" all across the side and then left the can there,,!! Wink After we butchered them, that was the last of the hogs at MY Place,,!!
 The next attempt was them chickies,,I bought 15 of them at the local feed store and got 5 roosters out the bunch and them was always fightin and screechin, and fighting after them hens And,,,,AND,,,they was always "savin" their CHIT to dump it right in front of the back and front doors and the first time the wife stepped in one gob,,,that was the end of them chickens. I had to take all of them to my Dads and he killed em, cleaned em and I gave him half of them and I BBQ'ed the rest of them.
By the way,,,I drove slowly by the neighbor's reservoir and that dang drake recognized my car and started to raise haides,,,so I hauled azz, lest the neighbor figure it me,,,,,LOL
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 4:45pm
Originally posted by shameless dude shameless dude wrote:

separate them....like ya do wit yer kids when they gits old nuff!


 Hey Good Buddy,,,WHERE YOU BEEN,,,??? I'm ready to bend your ear,,,,,Wink
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Stan IL&TN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Stan IL&TN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2021 at 8:53pm
So that explains how we get politicians. I didn't know.😆🙄
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ted J Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2021 at 1:33am
An here I was looking for a good joke Joe.....
BUT, it reminds me of the one.....I gave a buck for a duck for a duck for a .... and a .... for a duck and I still got the ....... duck.
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