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Lying Dog (H)

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Coke-in-MN View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Afton MN
Points: 41978
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    Posted: 29 Dec 2023 at 12:56pm
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana, and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale’ He rings the bell, and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Shetland Sheepdog sitting there. 

'You talk?' he asks. 

'Yep,' the Sheltie replies. 

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' 

The Sheltie looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. 

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. 

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. 

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. 

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' 

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 

“Ten dollars” the owner says. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?” 

“Because he's a Democrat and a liar.  He never did any of that .”

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Life lesson: If you’re being chased by a lion, you’re on a horse, to the left of you is a giraffe and on the right is a unicorn, what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the carousel.
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FloydKS View Drop Down
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: S E Kansas
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FloydKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2023 at 1:50pm
been a while since I saw or heard this one but I still 'cackled' out loud.
Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die
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ac hunter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ac hunter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2023 at 6:35pm
pretty funny. my wife even laughed at that one.
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2023 at 7:05pm

 Dang Good one Coke,,,,ClapClap
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