Unofficial Allis Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Other Topics > Politics
  New Posts New Posts
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

swallowell out

 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Message
DiyDave View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 31725
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: swallowell out
    Posted: 11 Jul 2019 at 7:33pm
Chick filet cow in!


Chick-Fil-A Cow Announces 2020 Run On Popular Platform Of Eating More Chicken
July 11th, 2019

U.S.—Chick-fil-A's popular mascot the Chick-fil-A Cow has announced his 2020 run on a platform of making the government run much more efficiently, being much more friendly to people, and of course, eating more chicken.

The cow's populist "Eat Mor Chikin" platform has gained the cow a significant following among evangelicals and people who like tasty chicken sandwiches, according to analysts. The cow is already polling at about a 97% approval rating among likely voters. The 3% are "weirdos who like McDonald's better for some reason and should probably be checked for mental illness."

"We'd all be better off with the cow running the country," said Chick-fil-A CEO Daniel Truett Cathy in his endorsement speech of Mr. Cow. "I know it, you know it, all of America knows it."

Mr. Cow has announced his platform positions, all of which have polled incredibly well among the nation's populace:

  • Abortion: Stop killing babies and eat more chicken.
  • Healthcare: Eat more chicken and you won't need healthcare.
  • Immigration: Let people come to America so they can eat more chicken.
  • Gay marriage: Who cares? Eat more chicken.
  • Government spending: Open more Chick-fil-As to raise money, budget crisis solved. Then you have more time and money to eat more chicken.
  • Foreign policy: Bomb other countries that have chickens so we can take them and eat them.
  • Climate change: Stop raising cows for slaughter. Raise chickens instead. Then eat them.

These positions have resonated incredibly well with focus groups, according to Mr. Cow's campaign manager.

"What we've found is that Americans disagree on a lot, but they can all agree that delicious chicken sandwiches are good," said the manager. He then took a bite of a juicy, delicious classic chicken sandwich, causing Mr. Cow's approval ratings to skyrocket even higher somehow.

Political analysts have projected that the government will run 8,763% more efficiently once Chick-fil-A assumes power.Wink

Source: Babylon Bee
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
steve(ill) View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 44571
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jul 2019 at 7:52pm
Political analysts have projected that the government will run 8,763% more efficiently once Chick-fil-A assumes power............Thumbs Up
Trump Is Not A Lib or Conserv, He's a "Pragmatist." (someone who is practical and focused on reaching a goal. Has a straightforward, matter-of-fact approach and doesn't let emotion distract him or her
Back to Top
LouSWPA View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Clinton, Pa
Points: 18359
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouSWPA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jul 2019 at 11:01pm
Um...…..one quick glance from anybody above an Alexia Cortez IQ would know that is NOT MR Cow. Ms, or Mrs would have been the proper PC terms at one time, a long long time ago when there was some sanity in the world. But now, who knows, maybe that is Mr Cow with udders. I find this all udderly ridiculous, so rather than milk this schick any longer, I will be moooooving along. I just know someone will try to horn in on my fun!
I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
Back to Top
DiyDave View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 31725
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2019 at 4:35am
Maybe it were a tranny cow?Wink
Source: Babylon Bee
Back to Top
steve(ill) View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 44571
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2019 at 7:17am
OH come on Lou... don't be a stick in the mud.... It is the Babylon Bee !!!
Trump Is Not A Lib or Conserv, He's a "Pragmatist." (someone who is practical and focused on reaching a goal. Has a straightforward, matter-of-fact approach and doesn't let emotion distract him or her
Back to Top
Lonn View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2009
Location: Назарово,Russia
Points: 25474
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lonn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2019 at 7:24am
Hey yesterday before an MRI, I was asked on some pre exam questionaire if I was pregnant. I never had that question before and I may look a little pregnant these days buts that just a combination of age and hamburgers. Disapprove They used to have that question in the box where you checked female if you are female.
I have no tag line

Back to Top
Tad Wicks View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Location: Shandon, CA
Points: 982
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tad Wicks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2019 at 8:43am
Originally posted by LouSWPA LouSWPA wrote:

Um...…..one quick glance from anybody above an Alexia Cortez IQ would know that is NOT MR Cow. Ms, or Mrs would have been the proper PC terms at one time, a long long time ago when there was some sanity in the world. But now, who knows, maybe that is Mr Cow with udders. I find this all udderly ridiculous, so rather than milk this schick any longer, I will be moooooving along. I just know someone will try to horn in on my fun!



Perforated bovine, this is a good case of teat for tat, it would behoofed somebody should they be keeping a dairy of all these punsLOLLOLLOL  Lou you got all the good ones.LOLLOLLOL


Edited by Tad Wicks - 12 Jul 2019 at 8:48am
I love pigs they turn vegetables into bacon

POLITICS-POLY Meaning Many     Tic- A Small Filthy Bloodsucking Dependent Creature
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 11.10
Copyright ©2001-2017 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.125 seconds.


Help Support the
Unofficial Allis Forum