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TMiller/NC 
Orange Level Access
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Lenoir, NC
Points: 1776
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 Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 2:58pm |
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Don't let your bullfrog mouth overload your tadpole azz
Just like a blue jay if he ain't $hitting he's hollering
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Sponsored Links
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weiner
Orange Level
Joined: 19 May 2012
Location: Cadillac, Mi.
Points: 4304
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 3:06pm |
Till the cows come home. Burning the candle at both ends.
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Real heros wear dogtags, not capes.
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omahagreg
Orange Level Access
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Points: 2806
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 4:12pm |
My Grandpa Kroeker would say Like shootin' fish in a barrel Rears and Soebuck
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Greg Kroeker
1950 WD with wide front and Freeman trip loader
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Lars(wi)
Orange Level Access
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 7612
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 4:58pm |
Tall Hat, No Cattle
Tighter than an old maids crotch
dumber than a bag of hammers
so mad, I could spit nails
watching grass grow is more exciting than she is
well, if that dont beat all
horny as a three peckerd billy goat
ugly as a rat's ass
so hungry you could eat the ass out of a skunk
she's so loose, you have to tie a board to back of your butt so you dont go all the way in
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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Jim.ME
Orange Level
Joined: 19 Nov 2016
Location: Maine
Points: 957
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:09pm |
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Strong like an ox, smart as a tractor.
All his puppies don't bark.
Their family tree looks like a telephone pole.
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klinemar
Orange Level
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 8031
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:09pm |
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Just came in with a load of logs.
Keep your powder dry!
Don't let your gun go off.
Watch your top knot.
Swelled up like a poisioned pup.
One brick shy of a full load.
Lies like a little kid who peed to bed.
Your story make it as big as you want.
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
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Burgie
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Scottsburg, IN
Points: 1192
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:26pm |
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Like a hair in a biscut.
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"Burgie"
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chaskaduo
Orange Level
Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:31pm |
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Far Out
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Lars(wi)
Orange Level Access
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Permian Basin
Points: 7612
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 5:34pm |
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Thank God there's not another one of you
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I tried to follow the science, but it was not there. I then followed the money, and that’s where I found the science.
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fixer1958
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2434
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 6:50pm |
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Deader than a hammer.
Go eat chit and die.
Edited by fixer1958 - 18 Mar 2018 at 6:51pm
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chaskaduo
Orange Level
Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 6:58pm |
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Holy Toledo
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access
Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13674
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 7:08pm |
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He's so dang screwed up,,he ain't got a pot to piss in,,,or a frigging window to throw it out of,,,,
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iowallis
Silver Level
Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Location: North Iowa
Points: 351
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:00pm |
When somebody is rambln' on "Can we take an escalator to the end of this conversation?"
He who sh!ts in church sits in pew.
You can lead a horse to water but it is a lot easier to ride him.
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
Orange Level
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Jackson Cnty,GA
Points: 6382
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 8:31pm |
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Busy as a one eyed cat watching two rat holes.
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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farmboy520
Orange Level Access
Joined: 22 Jun 2016
Location: Beason, IL
Points: 553
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 9:39pm |
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Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight
Screwed like a dog in the street
It’s your story, you can tell it the way you want
Lights are on but nobody’s home
Light in his loafers
He’s talking out of both sides of his mouth
He’s got more problems than Carter has pills
A few nuggets short of a happy meal
His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top
Chuck you farlie
That boy ain’t right
Hell or high water
Lord willing and the creek don’t rise
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 18 Mar 2018 at 10:31pm |
drunk as a skunk boys will be boys I give up Opening up a can of worms Turn out the lights. The party is over Catch me if you can Loaded for Bear Taller than a Georgia Pine Jaw deep to a Giraffe Black as Coal Nervous as a Long Tail Cat in a room full of Rockin Chairs A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words A flash in the Pan Things that go BUMP in the night
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thendrix
Orange Level
Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Location: Fairmount GA
Points: 4993
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 7:39am |
higher than giraffes pu@@y 6 bricks shy of a load nuttier then squirrel turds loose as a gooses bowels go through you like a dose of salts rough as a cob quiet as a mouse fart
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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klinemar
Orange Level
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 8031
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 8:33am |
A#s deep to a tall Indian Up to his A#s in Alligators Don't let fear or common sense stand in your way Colder than a Whores heart or Colder than a Witches heart You can always tell a man by his hat and yours is covered with sh#t
Edited by klinemar - 19 Mar 2018 at 8:37am
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 9:31am |
Curiosity Killed the Cat Don't make the same mistake twice. Don't count your chicks before they hatch
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Stan IL&TN
Orange Level
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Elvis Land
Points: 6730
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 9:45am |
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You make a better door than a window.
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1957 WD45 dad's first AC
1968 one-seventy
1956 F40 Ferguson
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Harvey/pa
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: York Co. Pa.
Points: 1019
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 10:06am |
My favorites from my Grandmother will miracles never cease Better to cut a fart & feel the shame, than bust a gut & go lame I'll Granny you ( she did not like to be called Granny)
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allisrutledge
Orange Level
Joined: 30 Mar 2010
Location: SurgoinsvilleTN
Points: 1357
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 10:29am |
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Wilder than a 5 legged rooster
Looks like a steers hindend sewed up with a grapevine
Ain't yer momma holler for ya?
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Allis Chalmers still exist in my mind and barns
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thendrix
Orange Level
Joined: 04 Feb 2013
Location: Fairmount GA
Points: 4993
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 11:49am |
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Harder than a whores heart
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"Farming is a business that makes a Las Vegas craps table look like a regular paycheck" Ronald Reagan
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 1:58pm |
Aint had a match since Superman Died Bullheaded Little Brat. Try tellin that to his Mommie I could use a drink Monkey See, Monkey Do Light at the end of the Tunnel Dressed fit to kill with no place to go Wrong way Corrigan Money, Marbles, Chalk & Crayons Easy as Pie Marches to the beat of a different drummer Get Serious Blowing Smoke up My Arsh Wild as a March Hare Whatever Floats Your Boat When 2+2 don't equal 4 I don't have a dog in this hunt for the truth. That is the Whole Truth and nothin but the truth. Go Figure
Edited by Ken in Texas - 19 Mar 2018 at 2:01pm
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klinemar
Orange Level
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 8031
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 2:46pm |
Never try to suppress a fart or a sneeze at the same time. You will explode! Blessed be the man who has nothing. When night comes his chores are all done! Blessed be they who go round in circles for they are known as big wheels. Comb your locks and grab your socks Boys it's daylight in the big woods!
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chaskaduo
Orange Level
Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 5:30pm |
Red on the head like the doodle on a poodle. Be careful with that one.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 6:18pm |
a stitch in time saves 9 What worries me is everything under the sun GOING HAYWIRE at the same time Why Buy Firewood when You can STIHL it That's a Bunch of Bull  scat My Stars I can't believe you said that Hoppin Mad Over Nothin Nothin to sneeze at runt of the litter Best to just BLOW IT OFF this time
Edited by Ken in Texas - 19 Mar 2018 at 6:20pm
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Ken in Texas
Orange Level
Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 7:33pm |
Jim Baker got this Cravin for Fried Chicken and Thought He Was Called To Preach. A sign from God I guess.
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 7:48pm |
M -O -N -E -Y is the Root of All Evil. That's what keeps me rootin for SMALL POTATOES
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Ken in Texas
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Henderson, TX
Points: 5919
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Posted: 19 Mar 2018 at 8:00pm |
It's so dry we are spraying the catfish for ticks. Dry like a popcorn fart Can't you be nice just once in a while? How many bald faced lies came out of your mouth today?
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