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This
has to be one of the funniest things in a long
time. I think this guy should have been
promoted, not fired. This is
a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline,
which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care
department..............
Needless
to say
the Help Desk employee was
fired; however, he/she is currently
suing
the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination
without Cause.'
Actual
dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee.
(Now
I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator:
'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help
you?'
Caller:
'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect
.'
Operator:
'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:
'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.'
Operator:
'Went away?'
Caller:
'They disappeared'
Operator:
'Hmm. So what does your screen look like
now?'
Caller:
'Nothing.'
Operator:
'Nothing??'
Caller:
'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type.'
Operator:
'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out?'
Caller:
'How do I tell?'
Operator:
'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the
screen?'
Caller:
'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:
'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller:
'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't
accept anything I type..'
Operator:
'Does your monitor have a power
indicator?'
Caller:
'What's a monitor?'
Operator:
'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when
it's on?'
Caller:
'I don't know.'
Operator:
'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see
that??'
Caller:
'Yes, I think so.'
Opera
tor:
'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
if it's
plugged into the wall..
Caller:
'Yes, it is.'
Operator:
'When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of
it, not just one? '
Caller:
'No.'
Operator:
'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and
find the other cable.'
Caller:
'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:
'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into
the back of your computer..'
Caller:
'I can't reach.'
Operator:
'OK. Well, can you see if it
is?'
Caller:
'No..'
Operator:
'Even if you maybe put your knee on something
and lean way over?'
Caller:
'Well, it's not because I don't have the right
angle -- it's because it's
dark.'
Operator:
'Dark?'
Caller:
'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is
coming in from the window.'
Operator:
'Well, turn on the office light
then.'
Caller:
'I can't.'
Operator:
'No? Why not?'
Caller:
'Because there's a power
failure.'
Operator:
'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay,
we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and
manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came
in?'
Caller:
'Well, yes, I keep them in the
closet..'
Operator:
'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then
take it back to
the store you bought it from.'
Caller:
'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:
'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:
'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?'
Operator:
'Tell them you're too stupid to own a
computer!'
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