OK, it's that time again,,,,
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=178232
Printed Date: 22 Aug 2025 at 9:56am Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: OK, it's that time again,,,,
Posted By: desertjoe
Subject: OK, it's that time again,,,,
Date Posted: 10 Feb 2021 at 9:19am
Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the naked woman they find in there. A
startled, naked, man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening
and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you
the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go." The
thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were.
One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg
like that." The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"
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Replies:
Posted By: steve(ill)
Date Posted: 10 Feb 2021 at 9:32am

------------- Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Posted By: Thad in AR.
Date Posted: 10 Feb 2021 at 9:42am
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 5:49pm
The IRS has returned my tax return to me this year after I apparently answered on the the questions incorrectly... In response to the question "Do you have anyone dependent on you?" I wrote: "9.5 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack heads, 3.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 850 prisons, plus 650 idiots in Washington." The IRS stated the answer I gave was "unacceptable!" I then wrote back: "Who did I leave out?"
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Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 5:51pm
OK, just one more,,,,,
If you get a loan from a bank, you'll be paying it off for 30 yrs. If you rob a bank, you'll be out in 10 yrs. Follow me for more financial advice. ~~~ When we're young, we sneak out of the house to go to parties. When we're old, we sneak out of parties to go home. ~~~ Once you understand why pizza is made round, Packed in a square box, And eaten as a triangle . . . Then you will understand women. ~~~ Our town is so small we don't have a town drunk so we all take turns. ~~~ It's my wife's birthday tomorrow, she's been leaving catalogues all over the house, so I've bought her a magazine rack. ~~~ Fish bite twice a day ... Before you get there and after you leave. ~~~ I think the real reason this generation is so screwed-up is because their music sucks. ~~~ I bet Canada feels like they live in the apartment above a Meth Lab. ~~~ Two things to make your day better: * Do not watch the news. * Stay off the bathroom scales
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Posted By: steve(ill)
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 6:23pm
I then wrote back: "Who did I leave out?" 
and the rest are GREAT ALSO !!
------------- Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Posted By: Wayne180d
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 8:03pm
I was talking to my niece today at breakfast and asked if she knew what day it was today She replied "It's President's day" So I asked if she knew what it meant expecting a reply about Bush, Obama, or Clinton Bur she replied "It's the day the president steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we will have another year of BULL  !!! It hurts when hot tea spurts out your nose.
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Posted By: plummerscarin
Date Posted: 15 Feb 2021 at 10:30pm
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 16 Feb 2021 at 6:47am
Wayne180d wrote:
I was talking to my niece today at breakfast and asked if she knew what day it was todayShe replied "It's President's day" So I asked if she knew what it meant expecting a reply about Bush, Obama, or Clinton Bur she replied "It's the day the president steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we will have another year of BULL  !!! It hurts when hot tea spurts out your nose.
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Posted By: Tbone95
Date Posted: 16 Feb 2021 at 6:54am
Wayne, that's freakin' hilarious!!!
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