Funny Tractor Pics
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Allis Chalmers
Forum Name: Farm Equipment
Forum Description: everything about Allis-Chalmers farm equipment
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17606
Printed Date: 30 Jan 2025 at 2:35pm Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Funny Tractor Pics
Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Subject: Funny Tractor Pics
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 11:00am
This forum needs a little humor at times. If you can find anything funny post it on here.
My beach buggy.
This guy reallly ticks me off. He's so stupid thinking he knows anything about tractors.
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------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Replies:
Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:35pm
Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:41pm
Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:42pm
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant
my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a
garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I
know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At
4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up
the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old
man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:51pm
Iowa 3-Kick Rule
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The attorney responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here. "
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U. S. ; and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. "
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this with the Iowa Three-Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is this three-kick Rule? "
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up. "
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn. "
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: CTuckerNWIL
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:52pm
I didn't know Case IH made an anti aircraft attachment for their front wheel assist tractors. This is a B with a ship spreader attachment for a WC.
------------- http://www.ae-ta.com" rel="nofollow - http://www.ae-ta.com Lena 1935 WC12xxx, Willie 1951 CA6xx Dad bought new, 1954WD45 PS, 1960 D17 NF
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:57pm
Settling a cow caseA big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 2:58pm
I flattened your catSeems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but Iwanted to let you know instead of just driving off...."
"Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could youdescribe him? What does he look like?"
The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.
"Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?"
At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:01pm
How are you doing?A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.
The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is obviously in extreme pain. The farm animals are all messed up very badly and the farmer, although remaining inside the vehicle, still suffers cuts and scrapes.
The farmer gets out of the truck and looks at his farm animals.
The chickens all have broken limbs and can barely move. "These chickens are all useless! Nobody will want to buy these chickens anymore!" bellows the farmer. With that, he grabs and loads his shotgun and blows away the chickens.
Next, he sees the pigs and they are all lame and bleeding profusely. "These pigs are all worthless now! I'll get nothing for them!" yells the farmer. With great rage, the farmer reloads his shotgun and blows away the pigs.
The farmer looks at the sheep and they all have broken limbs and their wool is all bloodied. "Worthless sheep!" screams the farmer and with that, he reloads his shotgun and blows away the sheep.
Meanwhile, the injured tourist witnesses all of this carnage in great horror.
The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch and looks at the tourist. "Are you okay down there?" asked the farmer.
"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!" the tourist yelled back.
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:03pm
He had to "bale" on that one...
and as more and more dropped out...
... now where have I seen this before?
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:09pm
Pig misunderstandingHoward County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.
"Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.
"Yeth." lisped the farmer.
Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: AllisChalmers37
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:11pm
Mother-in-law killedA newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
------------- 1937 WC, 1950 CA, 1959 D14, 1967 190XT, 2006 Ram 3500
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Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:14pm
...OK, so I got the framing a little off - but look - not one crack in the mortar!
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Posted By: acd21man
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 3:48pm
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------------- 2 wd 45,2 D-17 diesel/gas 3 pt, 220,d21, 4020,2 4430s used daily http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCudh8Xz9_rZHhUC3YNozupw
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Posted By: FloydKS
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 5:31pm
even the chimney is not cracked : )
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Posted By: CTuckerNWIL
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 5:47pm
CJohn, I think I can save that for you. LOL
------------- http://www.ae-ta.com" rel="nofollow - http://www.ae-ta.com Lena 1935 WC12xxx, Willie 1951 CA6xx Dad bought new, 1954WD45 PS, 1960 D17 NF
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Posted By: CJohnS MI
Date Posted: 02 Sep 2010 at 7:14pm
CTuckerNWIL wrote:
CJohn, I think I can save that for you. LOL
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LOL! It came down earlier this year. It's right off I-69 & then N on HWY 52 going to Owosso (or just West of the exit for Steiner's Tractor Parts).
Always a loss though, to see some of these old barns & outbuildings fall into disrepair.
It just impressed me how stubborn that chimney was.
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