After a particularly rough flight, the airliner pilot addresses his passengers: "The turbulence we passed through was rough, but we are through it now." The pilot was unaware that his PA switch was stuck on, and leaned over to the co-pilot and said "Boy, was that rough! What I need now is a hot woman and a cold beer." A flight attendant in the rear of the aircraft heard this, and ran forward to warn the pilot. As she neared the cockpit, an elderly woman passenger stopped her saying "Don't forget the beer!"

    URINE TEST FOR FREE:

Go to a tree trunk and relieve yourself

If it attracts a lot of ants, you have high glucose

If it dries too fast, you have high sodium

If it smells like meat, you have high cholesterol

Forget to open your pants to piddle, you have Alzheimer's

Had trouble aiming at the tree, you have Parkinson's

If you piddle on your feet, it's your prostate

Can't smell the piddle, it's COVID-19

 Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.

  A little girl and boy are fighting about the difference between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally the little boy drops his pants and says, "Here's something I have that you'll never have!"
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later,
she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, "My mommy
says that with one of these, I can have has many of those that I want!"

 Ya'll enjoy,,,,,,!!