Ha Ha time
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=167689
Printed Date: 27 Apr 2024 at 7:22am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Ha Ha time
Posted By: Clay
Subject: Ha Ha time
Date Posted: 23 Jan 2020 at 10:34pm
| I think, I'm going to lose my driver's license... and all just because of a stupid police officer. The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car: OFFICER: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" ME: "I assure you, I did not drink anything". OFFICER: "Okay, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?" ME: "A car". OFFICER: "Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?" ME: "I have no idea!" OFFICER: "So, you're drunk". ME: "But I didn't drink anything". OFFICER: "Okay, one more test - imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it? ME: "A motorcycle". OFFICER: "Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?" ME: "I have no idea!" OFFICER: "As I suspected, you're drunk!" Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question. ME: "So... counter question - you're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?" OFFICER: "A prostitute of course". ME: "Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?" Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend |
Replies:
Posted By: chaskaduo
Date Posted: 24 Jan 2020 at 2:40am
  ------------- 1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp |
Posted By: john(MI)
Date Posted: 24 Jan 2020 at 8:38am
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When I was young and dumb I got nabbed for impaired driving. The officer was talking to me behind my truck and said, "I think we need to get in the car". I immediately said, "You better drive!"! He held it but had a hard time not laughing. Back at the station I seen him telling all of the other officers about it and chuckling. They put me in the quiet people cell and let me have a cigarette. The people in the loud people cell were sure upset I got to have a cigarette. I quit smoking in case you was thinking I was still a dummy! ------------- D14, D17, 5020, 612H, CASE 446 |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 24 Jan 2020 at 9:17pm
Fell off a 50 foot ladder today.  Thank the Lord, I was on the first step.  
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Posted By: Ted J
Date Posted: 25 Jan 2020 at 8:49pm
I slipped of the top of a 50 foot ladder yesterday.  Good thing it was laying flat on the ground....   ------------- "Allis-Express" 19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 28 Jan 2020 at 4:08pm
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Posted By: LouSWPA
Date Posted: 28 Jan 2020 at 4:53pm
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why do we park in the driveway, and drive on the parkway ------------- I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27 |
Posted By: Kansas99
Date Posted: 28 Jan 2020 at 7:50pm
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[TUBE]z2AbvTL1TTM[/TUBE]
------------- "LET"S GO BRANDON!!" |
Posted By: Clay
Date Posted: 29 Jan 2020 at 4:32pm
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Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a nice little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity Tom”, said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here." Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a HUGE 3 story mansion with Red and Gold sidewalks and drive ways, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Chiefs flag waving, a swimming pool in the shape of an arrowhead, a KC logo in every window, and a #15 Patrick Mahomes jersey on the front door. Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 6 Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what's your point Tom?" “Well, why does Patrick Mahomes get a better house than me?" God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Patrick’s house, it's mine." |