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Likely to end up single yet

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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Mar 2023 at 8:41am
 Well, Dave,,I am SO glad to hear that!! I keep remembering your statement that "I still Love Her",,,that right there means so much in a marriage and I wish both of ya'll all the luck in the world. Remember to "take a little, and leave a little more, We all know life is so dang short and can be very lonely by one's self,,,,,Good Luck, Dave.
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Hermann, Mo
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2023 at 3:01pm
Then she slips quietly and she believes invisibly Back Onto the Couch, glued to the Tube.  Gave up, getting all my stuff done and anything will not longer utilize gone.  Made a Quip Comment as to the House 'NEEDING' a vacuuming, she knows where it is and can do as much as I, she stopped as soon as stated it and corrected did not mean to say that but the lie was on her face.  She was watching last week's rerun of a rerun of NCIS.
My YAG surgery was super quick and easy, have two weeks of eye drops then on my own until end of June to get another review of eyes' strengths and weaknesses.  We go a week from Friday to get me a Guided Cortical Steroid injection at C4/5 in my neck to try to extend time with any feeling in left arm.  Currently has a Itch cannot be scratched as is all nerves under pressure, Right arm is beginning to do that as well.  If that fails, another neck surgery and at least a month and half sitting awaiting Boning In Place of insert.  Her own Colonoscopy was fine, she has nothing to fear except the 30 lbs she put on since last December.  A1C numbers are NOT good.

I will not allow her to remain here and destroy what was built, I will place the entire site on sale some time around end of Summer where I will have a decent level of cash built back yet again and can put a down on her New House.  This one has not ever been her Home, she will no longer have a room in My Home.  Her Sis can move in with her and they can share Type 2 Diabetes that she already has.  They can commiserate as to how vile and Demanding males have been to them and I will move on then to reset in My next Home.


Edited by DMiller - 09 Mar 2023 at 3:03pm
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DougG View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 Sep 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DougG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2023 at 5:19pm
Dang hate to hear that, 

Edited by DougG - 10 Mar 2023 at 7:08pm
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FloydKS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FloydKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2023 at 8:38pm
I am not interested in anything you have, just interested in wanting a good outcome for you.
Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2023 at 10:53pm
 Hey Dave Miller well, I DO want to wish you "WELL" as you have obviously thought this out to your advantage as you do believe all is lost at this point.
 Like most of us old geezers here,,,we all got some health issues that would be better addressed with some familial support and I hope you have plenty of that help as well.
 GOOD LUCK, Dave and keep in touch.ClapClap
 I'm going to be in Springfield area early-summer and maybe we can have coffee, if you got time from beating off all those other Ladies that will surely be looking for you,,,,,,Clap
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Mar 2023 at 5:31pm
A Surprise Surprise Surprise epiphany from the Wife.  I got done adding the ID Decals to the truck, it is licensed and insured where should I had ended up leaving it would have gone with me.  So I was sitting at the dining table eating dinner and she looks up says we need to discuss some things.  Explained discussions were long done, she would get her little house and paid for I would be gone.  She backed up, said she needed to apologize, and then dragged out spec sheets on three used RVs, all too pricey but were being looked at.  She noted that over a few days she had spoken to her Sis, she spoke to Sis's attorney on a Free Initial Consult, laid out all the facts she could come up with and was essentially told she is beyond foolish.

Seems the attorney noted MO Divorce Laws are such she would get to keep her 401K, her annuity investment and her own SSI, she would NOT receive any form of Maintenance moneys as she had moneys to pay for things, she would be accepting the loss of my pension when I pass as my Employer WILL NOT EVER and HAS NOT EVER Paid a Divorcee spouse those funds, my life insurance policies would likely end up with a alternate.  Her best case scenario even with Sis moving in with her was in debt in five years, and likely broke in ten as she retires otherwise would end up working to 70 years old to make up some that she is throwing away.  EYE OPENING as was the trip to accountant that figured taxes, showed her JUST SSI, Pension and annuity I take home DOUBLE to three Times what she does, and that before I should ever choose to go Back to working at all.  She started looking at vacations and inability to ever take one again should we split as could not afford to go anywhere.  Decided her life her was worth more than the TV.
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Mar 2023 at 5:33pm
Truck as of today, decals below door are most important, makes it a Oversize Pickup Truck.  
"PRIVATE CONVEYANCE, NOT FOR HIRE"

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Tracy Martin TN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tracy Martin TN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Mar 2023 at 6:18pm
Truck looks great. Hope all goes well with your home life. God Bless! Tracy
No greater gift than healthy grandkids!
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SteveM C/IL View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SteveM C/IL Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2023 at 7:33am
Whooooa! You know her better than us but I'm not trusting anything she says at this point.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2023 at 8:33am
best option long term.... Downsize, sell what you dont need, less projects, take a couple vacations, calm down, dont take life seriously .............. like most of us, your too old and too beat up to start over !.
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveKamp Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Mar 2023 at 1:44am
Originally posted by DMiller DMiller wrote:

We go a week from Friday to get me a Guided Cortical Steroid injection at C4/5 in my neck to try to extend time with any feeling in left arm.  Currently has a Itch cannot be scratched as is all nerves under pressure, Right arm is beginning to do that as well.  If that fails, another neck surgery and at least a month and half sitting awaiting Boning In Place of insert. 


Okay, so, I went through a C5/6 collapse some years ago, and I'll share it as short-as-I-can without leaving the important stuff behind...

My neck issues started with mild occasional pain, and some tingling in my fingers, particularly when I was bicycling or using a shovel.  I gradually moved to more motorcycling, but as time went on, the helmet, especially wind-buffeting, became painful.  I switched to a lighter helmet, then eventually bicycle helmet, and then no helmet, but it just gradually got worse.  Turning wrenches, both my projects, and on company work, really started wearing me out, and playing bass for my band got rather difficult, as I had a tough time feeling the frets and strings, but i was still very strong.  I started having problems tanking up a good lungful of air for singing long notes, and I'd black out a bit on stage... but I'd sing and play right through it (only the gal singing next to me realized it...)

One day, I was leaving a jobsite in Birmingham, with trailer in tow... the driveway had a steep spot in the exit apron, so when I left, I was looking out my driver's side window, back at the back of the trailer, to ease it past the dip... to prevent slamming the tail of the trailer on the pavement... and I sneezed...  I felt a little sting in my neck, and then my shoulder, elbow, and palm started to hurt.  Within an hour of driving, it was totally pins/needles, and my bicep was bouncing around in spasms uncontrolled...  I drove home basically right-handed.  My left arm was physically paralyzed- no motor capacity whatsoever, and I had pain under my shoulder blade, in my shoulder, front and back of my bicep and forearm, cold pins and needles in my hand.  My other arm was starting to get that way, but I could still use it.  No way to sleep- I could not get comfortable in any position.

The waiting time was excruciating, and you don't wanna hear it, but two weeks later, MRI revealed that the disc at 5/6 had collapsed IN... like an O-ring shoved into a garden hose... so my ulnar and radial nerve clusters had been pinched between the cervicals.  At the time, they really didn't realize it, but after surgery, doc noted that his previous assessment was wrong, the disc was packed in such that my spinal cord was constricted down to about 20% of it's original space, so all the other problems I'd experienced (digestive, breathing, etc) were likely attributed to that... it very well could've put me on the wrong side of the garden.

Surgery took 1hr 17 minutes... they used a titanium honeycomb wedge packed with donated bone powder (it gets washed of various genetic markers so that the recipient's body accepts, and binds, rather than rejects the wedge).  They made three incisions in the front of my neck, moved my windpipe to one side,  and did all the work from the front.  The wedge slipped in from the front, and a titanium retainer strap fastened the two C's together straddling the wedge with a pair of screws. They had a neck brace on me, so I couldn't move my neck much, my throat was irritated (from the breathing tube mostly) and there was a bit of a burning sensation in the fusion, but the fact that all the OTHER pain was gone, I could rest, so I felt fantastic.

They discharged me the next morning, I rode home in the car, rested for the weekend, and showed up at my office on Monday morning, answering phones and solving problems.

I had the brace on full time for about 3 weeks, then wore it while I was moving around, but not while sitting gently or sleeping.  By 8 weeks I didn't need to unless I could feel it stressed (I didn't), and other than a lifting restriction and rough activities, I was out and about just fine.

If I had any chance, or any choice in the matter, the only thing I would have wished for, is that it could have been dealt with much sooner, however, the technology involved did not exist way back when my problems first started... nowdays, it's even better.  I heal really fast, and have managed to stay a few years behind you, so I wouldn't expect your recovery to be quite as quick as mine, but I have no reason to think it'd be any less effective for you...  it WILL bring a whole lot of happiness back to your life.
Ten Amendments, Ten Commandments, and one Golden Rule solve most every problem. Citrus hand-cleaner with Pumice does the rest.
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