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Holy squirrels

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Joined: 12 May 2013
Location: Bombay NY
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    Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 4:38pm
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
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DiyDave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote DiyDave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 5:21pm
Did I hear a request?Wink

Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need!
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steve(ill) View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 6:04pm
NOW THATS FUNNY !!
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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DMiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 6:18pm
Pretty Durn Funny that is!!!!
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