This site is not affiliated with AGCO Inc., Duluth GA., Allis-Chalmers Co., Milwaukee, WI., or any surviving or related corporate entity. All trademarks remain the property of their respective owners. All information presented herein should be considered the result of an un-moderated public forum with no responsibility for its accuracy or usability assumed by the users and sponsors of this site or any corporate entity.
The Forum Parts and Services Unofficial Allis Store Tractor Shows Serial Numbers History
Forum Home Forum Home > Other Topics > Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
  New Posts New Posts
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


New Years Funny's
 Post Reply Post Reply
Author
Message Reverse Sort Order
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: New Years Funny's
    Posted: 03 Jan 2023 at 10:19am
    LOU, LOU, LOU,,,,,since I been alone for what,,,one year and 5 months,,(510 days),it pretty dang difficult to keep your mind between the sheets,,,,ER,,,I didn't say that,,,,?  did I,,?? NOT WHAT I MEANT,,,,,!!!!Kinda haRD to keep, CHIT,,there I go again!!!!Ya'll KNOW,,,I used to NOT be like this but,,,,BY THE WAY,,,,I sent her a PM,,,see if she'll answer,,,chit with all them "Rowdy" jokes she's got on her mind,,,she might just be one of them nympho gals ,,,and I'd be in deep chit,!!,,,BYE,,,,,


Edited by desertjoe - 03 Jan 2023 at 10:21am
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
LouSWPA View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Clinton, Pa
Points: 24033 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouSWPA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 11:46pm
Oh common Joe, you didn't take the bait!  LOL
I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
Back to Top
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 8:56am
 ACTUALLY,,,,,,,,it was a woman that posted these and especially the "randy" ones,,,and I would like to meet that one,,,,,she sounds to be an "interesting" one,,,,,,with,,,,with  an "open" frame of mind,,,,WinkWink  I really liked the one describing her legs,,,,(chewing on palms now),,,,,,BYE,,,,
Back to Top
DMiller View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access


Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Hermann, Mo
Points: 29705 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 7:13am
I was thinking Two women on the rag in same house, same time.
Back to Top
jaybmiller View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access


Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Greensville,Ont
Points: 21587 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaybmiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 7:11am
What's the penalty for being a bigamist ?

TWO Mother-in-laws !!!
3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112
Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor)

Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water
Back to Top
LouSWPA View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Clinton, Pa
Points: 24033 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouSWPA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by desertjoe desertjoe wrote:

 #2WARNING, these are a little 'randy' Emote

Why doesn't Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year & its down the chimney
~
My left leg is Thanksgiving, my right leg is Christmas.
My husband wants to visit between the holidays.
~
Why are Christmas trees better than men?
Even the small ones give you satisfaction.
~
Why does Santa always land on the roof?
He likes it on top.

Joe old buddy, old pal, I take umbrage to the third one! I've never had a complaint!
I am still confident of this;
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Ps 27
Back to Top
Ron(AB) View Drop Down
Orange Level
Orange Level
Avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2009
Location: Alberta
Points: 943 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ron(AB) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 7:57pm
Ha, ha, ha...
405, 7000, 7050, 8050, 8070, L3, 2300 & 2600 disk
Back to Top
Thad in AR. View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9291 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thad in AR. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 7:23pm
Happy New Year Joe and the rest of tha misfits.
I enjoy the funnies.
Back to Top
steve(ill) View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 78102 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote steve(ill) Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 5:43pm
Clap  Clap
Like them all, but love the "B"s.
Back to Top
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 9:59am
$4
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
Neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws'

 Ya'll BE HAPPY!!!!
Back to Top
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 9:56am
#3
Is your name Jingle Bells?
Cause it looks like your ready to go all the way.
~
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
~
What do female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow a few bucks.
~
What's the most disappointing thing for a lover on Christmas morning?
When they get a sweater, but they were hoping for a screamer or moaner.
~
What does a man who had a vasectomy have in common with a Christmas tree?
Their balls are both decorative.
~
What happened when the Grinch tried Viagra?
He grew three sizes that day.
~
What does Santa say when he reaches climax?
Oh, oh, OH!
Back to Top
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 9:54am
 #2WARNING, these are a little 'randy' Emote

Why doesn't Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year & its down the chimney
~
My left leg is Thanksgiving, my right leg is Christmas.
My husband wants to visit between the holidays.
~
Why are Christmas trees better than men?
Even the small ones give you satisfaction.
~
Why does Santa always land on the roof?
He likes it on top.
Back to Top
desertjoe View Drop Down
Orange Level Access
Orange Level Access
Avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13361 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2023 at 9:52am
THE VIRGIN BIRTH
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant. About 4 months would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 11.10
Copyright ©2001-2017 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.047 seconds.


Help Support the
Unofficial Allis Forum