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fixer1958 
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Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2434
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 Topic: Saturday
Posted: 21 May 2018 at 10:04am |
Wife's sisters husband ( I guess my BIL, never put him in that category) passed about 2 months ago and was cremated with no ceremony. His call. Couple of years older than me. We never got along that well, always feeding off everybody else and looking at his own interests first before anyone else. Just couldn't see the logic there.
He had a celebration of life Saturday that his wife setup at there place. Big turnout. It was good. It's a little perplexing because I know how he treated his family and his own self interests and still the sorrow I witnessed of his passing.
He wasn't a molester or a wife/kid beater but just a lazy dope smoking self serving dick. I know I helped him out several times and not so much kiss my azz or anything.
Life is funny. I don't know what I was expecting. Call me out on it if you have to.
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Tracy Martin TN
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gallatin,TN
Points: 10624
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 10:19am |
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Fixer, i think we all know one or more of those guys.Most of the time, help or a loan goes to these guys without a thank you. A man that won't take care of his own responsibility , is not much of a person, much less a man. I personally can't stand a liar, a man that will lie, most likely will steal too! JMHO, Tracy
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No greater gift than healthy grandkids!
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Dipstick In
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Remington, In.
Points: 8602
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 10:21am |
You can't change him now and never could,,,,,,, but what you can do is to give yourself credit for being the better person and trying!
If you think of all the times and things you did to help, and learn to appreciate them,,,,,,,,,,, you will find that you're a purty durned good person after all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be positive!!!!
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You don't really have to be smart if you know who is!
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fixer1958
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Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Location: kansas
Points: 2434
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 10:45am |
I'm just really conflicted on some of the things that have happened in the 32 years I knew him. He used to grow his own dope on his property and got busted by the KBI once as his kids were getting off the school bus.....yeah. He was in jail for awhile and rolled over on one of his friends for the ONLY reason was he would be a felon and couldn't posses firearms because he was a very avid hunter. That was a fiasco.
After his youngest was born his wife had a small stroke and he told her to drive herself to the hospital because he thought she was faking and full of chit. Had an Oh Chit moment after the fact couple of days later.
His Brittany bird dog died an had a melt down for a week (took a week off work) but told his wife to buck up after her stroke.
I'm done now..............aaaagh. Don't understand.
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Stan IL&TN
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Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Location: Elvis Land
Points: 6730
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 11:01am |
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Well look at it this way. I have went to plenty of funerals where I didn't know the person who died at all and never met them while living. I go because of the ones left behind.
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1957 WD45 dad's first AC
1968 one-seventy
1956 F40 Ferguson
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Red Bank
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Joined: 18 Apr 2018
Location: Germanton NC
Points: 1051
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 11:59am |
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I understand the conflicting point you are talking about. If this was a movie he would have straightened up and had a change of character before his passing. But this is real life and sometimes people are just like him and we all seem to try to find some good in a person but at the end of day sometimes you can't . But you can lay down at night and sleep well knowing that you live by your own principles. I always say that I want them to say at my funeral that " he was a smartass but a good man" I like to pick and carry on in a sarcastic way but I still try to live like the Good Book says and sometimes I am more generous with people than I should be but I feel like I am trying to live life right.
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Jackson Cnty,GA
Points: 6290
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 12:13pm |
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A funeral/memorial service can be to honor the deceased and/or comfort/support the family. On this one I would say the latter. With the life you say he lived few probably mourned his passing. The Bible tells us that a man that will not take care of his family is worse than an infidel. The celebration of life was more to alleviate the conflicted feeling of the family than to honor his life. I don't think anyone can condemn you for the way you feel.
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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klinemar
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: Michigan
Points: 8002
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 12:47pm |
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[TUBE]Tf5m--YeD8M[/TUBE] Just because he was an SOB means you don't have to be one!
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Pat the Plumber CIL
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Springfield,Il
Points: 4772
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 1:13pm |
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An employer of mine from over 30 some years ago was one of the meanest, selfish, overbearing,,,, where do I stop. Worst 9 months of my life working for him. Treated all of his workers like dirt. One of the biggest funerals I have ever been to. I figured they would line up to pee on his grave . There were some stories told after but most were there to show respect to the family
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You only need to know 3 things to be a plumber;Crap rolls down hill,Hot is on the left and Don't bite your fingernails
1964 D-17 SIV 3 Pt.WF,1964 D-15 Ser II 3pt.WF ,1960 D-17 SI NF,1956 WD 45 WF.
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Thad in AR.
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9455
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 2:54pm |
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I have no use for rude folks. I have no use for self serving folks. I have absolutely no use for weed smokers. Good on you for supporting the family left behind.
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DiyDave
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 51674
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Posted: 21 May 2018 at 5:54pm |
 Thad in AR. wrote:
I have no use for rude folks. I have no use for self serving folks. I have absolutely no use for weed smokers. Good on you for supporting the family left behind. |
X2, hate rude behavior, in a man...
[TUBE]wLAY15lB4I4[/TUBE]
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Tbone95
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Joined: 31 Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Points: 11604
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Posted: 22 May 2018 at 9:09am |
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A funeral doesn't change the way the person was, nor has it ever given me cause to think I was wrong about someone and change my way of thinking. If you know the "loved ones" such as you do, you go for them, such as you did. It does make you wonder how they think of him the way they do sometimes. On the other hand, I know a guy who went to his father's funeral "To be sure the rotten SOB was DEAD". People lead complex lives!
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