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funny for a HOT day...

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jaybmiller View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 May 2022 at 1:50pm

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

 

'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?

 

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother

replied.  'It's not polite.'

 

'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'

 

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are

really none of your business.'

 

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

 

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

 

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

 

'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

 

'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.

It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

 

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are.

You are 32.'

 

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

 

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

 

The mother is surprised and shocked now.  'How in Heaven's name did

you find that out?'

 

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy

got a divorce.'

 

'Oh really?' the mother asks.  'Why?'

 

'Because you got an F in sex.'


Edited by jaybmiller - 31 May 2022 at 1:51pm
3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112
Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor)

Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water
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mdm1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mdm1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 May 2022 at 6:27pm
Have to admit the last one took a second. Old age!
Everything is impossible until someone does it! WD45-trip loader 1947 c w/woods belly mower, 1939 B, #3 sickle mower 1944 B, 2 1948 G's. Misc other equipment that my wife calls JUNK!
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desertjoe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote desertjoe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jun 2022 at 8:07am

  GOOD ONE Jay,!!,,,you just never know bout them kids,,,huh,,?LOL
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Clay View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Clay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2022 at 7:13am
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner  

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 
 
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen  were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. 
 
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.  They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees inside, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled  the car off immediately. 
 
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. 
 
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The  Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. 
 
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. 
 
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would  be shown...
 
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- LoNormHi, and Max -- on the controls. 
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dr p View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dr p Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jun 2022 at 8:33pm
Today is my first day of celibacy. I went to a marriage retreat with my wife this weekend. They pulled myself and two other men out of the audience and put us on stage. The speaker came up to us and said we are going to do a quick test to see how well these men know their wives. Gentlemen, what is your wife's favorite flower? The first guy said roses, the second said tulips, I panicked and said gold metal.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote WF owner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 5:34am
dr p, 
A lot of young people won't get that one (which verifies that I am not young)!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DMiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 5:43am
I worked for Seimer Milling once long ago, Gold Medal!!!  They Made that!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote iowallis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jun 2022 at 10:50am
My pregnant niece and her husband had one of those gender reveal parties last weekend.

It wasn’t until after I dropped my pants that I realized it wasn’t a group participation event.
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