The European Commission has just announced an agreement where-by the official language of the
European Union (EU) will now be English, rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase in plan that will be known as
"EuroEnglish."
In the first year, "S" will replace the soft "C." Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
skip with joy. The hard "C" will be dropped in favor of the "K." This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
In the sekond year, there will be growing publik enthusiasm when the troublesome "PH" will be
replaced with the "F." This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible
mes of the silent "E" in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "TH" with "Z" and "W" with "V."
During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "O" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "OU" and similar changs
vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubts or difikultis
and evrivun wil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!
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that's pretty similar to the way people text these days
