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A little humor to pas the time |
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Posted: 27 Nov 2019 at 5:44am |
That almost sounds creepy.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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JohnCO
Orange Level Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Niwot Colo Points: 8992 |
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Oh I post now and then, and lurk all the time... |
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"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer"
Allis Express participant |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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Good One ,,John,,,,it good to hear from you,,you been THAT busy,,??
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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They must be from way back in the woods.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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JohnCO
Orange Level Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Niwot Colo Points: 8992 |
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Saw this one in Farm Show; Ole and Leana were known in the town to be "thrifty". One day they go to the only restaurant in town and order a cheeseburger, cut in half and two waters. The waitress brings the food and Ole starts eating. She comes by a while later and sees that Leana hasn't eaten any of her burger. She asks if everything is alright and Leana answers, Yeah, Just waiting for the teeth.
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"If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer"
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Ted J
Orange Level Joined: 05 Jul 2010 Location: La Crosse, WI Points: 18727 |
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"Allis-Express"
19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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Good one Darrell,,,,, Nuttin like a caring husband,,,
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Darrell G (MN)
Orange Level Joined: 11 Sep 2009 Location: Green Isle MN Points: 1496 |
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Another one for you Joe
A man and his wife walk into a dentist's office. The man says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two airport rat buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go fly. We have a 10:00 AM takeoff time and it's 9:30 already. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!" The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?" The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him." |
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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Probably true the way they design and engineer crap up today. And that's no joke.
Edited by chaskaduo - 23 Nov 2019 at 8:26am |
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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One more time,,,,,, Two engineering students were crossing campus when one asked the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." |
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Stacik
Bronze Level Access Joined: 22 Jun 2018 Location: Wisconsin Points: 6 |
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Leaving Omaha, I decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I heard a voice from the other stall.
"Hi there, how's it going?" Okay...I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in the washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I said: "Not bad." Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?" I'm starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back east..." Then I hear the person, all flustered, say: "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the stall next to me keeps answering." |
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Larry Miller
Orange Level Joined: 21 Nov 2009 Location: NWIL Points: 896 |
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Best one I head this week. Wife told husband that if he bought one more AC tractor she was going to shut down his night time fun. Husband said, You are starting to sound like my X wife. Wife says, I thought you told me your were never married before. Husband says, I wasn't.
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I used to be young and stupid, now I am not young anymore.
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TimNearFortWorth
Orange Level Joined: 12 Dec 2009 Points: 2014 |
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You know you have problems in the marriage when you move from NY to CA, and have the same mailman . . . .
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Wayne180d
Orange Level Joined: 08 Dec 2015 Location: Gilman, Il Points: 5923 |
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The nine year old son had a dream one night and a crow told him his aunt was going to die. Shaken by his dream he went and told his parents about the dream. they laughed at him and said his aunt was healthy and it was just a bad dream. Two weeks later his aunt had a massive heart attack and died. Several months went by and the crow came to him in a dream and told him his father was going to die the next day. The young son did not want to worry his mother so he only told his father. The next morning his father left early and did not come until very late. He told his wife he had a horrible at work and sorry he was late getting home. His wife just looked at him and said you should have been here,, The mailman dropped dead on the front porch this morning.
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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chaskaduo
Orange Level Joined: 26 Nov 2016 Location: Twin Cities Points: 5203 |
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CBD oil must be kickin in.
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Hubert (Ga)engine7
Orange Level Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Jackson Cnty,GA Points: 6142 |
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Joe, you are on a roll tonight!
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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OK,,OK,,just one more,,,, A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy
room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?" |
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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One more,,,,, A
child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,
"Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made
babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the
same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to
become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You
lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her
side of the family.
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desertjoe
Orange Level Access Joined: 23 Sep 2013 Location: New mexico Points: 13361 |
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Taxiing
down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned
to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.
Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, 'What was the problem?' 'The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine', explained the flight attendant, 'and it took us a while to find a new pilot.' |
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