Nursing home
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URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=196440
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Topic: Nursing home
Posted By: 200Tom1
Subject: Nursing home
Date Posted: 01 Aug 2023 at 9:00pm
We had to put my 100 year old mom in a nursing home this afternoon. She had fallen in her home and layd on the floor for 24-36 hours. I found her and got the ambulance called. They got her to the hospital. She could only spend 4 days in the hospital
Guys if you are going to have to do this, get your paperwork together. We were ok. We had to have a power of attorney, medical power of attorney, yes there is a difference. You need a piece of paper stating she does not want to be recessited. Mom made it plain to us she does not want that. Some homes want that in writing and signed by the patient. Anyway, it was a sad long trip for mom today.
Medicare will pay everything except her Depends, clothes, etc. The gals promised her all the black coffee she can drink, all the Cheerios and chicken she can eat. I hope you folks never have to do this. I might have to take an extra sleeping pill tonight.
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Replies:
Posted By: Dirt Farmer
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 12:36am
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Tom, prayers for your mother and your family as you go through this transition time. I bet she has a lot of interesting stories of things she has seen and changes that have happened throughout her lifetime.
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Posted By: DougG
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 5:39am
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Sorry to hear this- but Ill be going thru the same thing in the near future, Mom went out to pull weeds, fell broke her nose , got bruised up- Dad went to help, fell too both were laying there in the yard- was wondering about the nursing home process
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Posted By: Codger
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 6:02am
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The importance of having full general, and medical power of attorney's in force cannot be overemphasized. As is a "Do Not Resuscitate" order, if that is the member's wish. With aging parents, (or other's medical needs) this needs done, or put into place while the affected person is still fully cognizant, and/or functional. It will save much heartache and frustration if these documents are in place when the need arises.
I too offer best wishes. Always hate that people have to go through this type ordeal but death is part of life and we should be prepared at any time.
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A career built on repairing and improving engineering design deficiencies, shortcomings, and failures over 50 years now.
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Posted By: DMiller
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 7:16am
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So Sorry to hear Tom, prayers she is well attended. As to those POA and MPOA, what happened with my Dad was these HAD to be renewed each time entered a Med Office or after a year, just insane all the damn paper had to continually reprocess.
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Posted By: Ray54
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 1:43pm
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I wish you and your mother well Tom, been there done that. Careful Tom Medicare only paid 60 or 90 days just a few years ago. Then you and your mother get the bill.
As sad as it is to go to the nursing home , you need to go real often. Some member of the family showing up everyday is real good. The staff will know your family cares and do better job. I always felt real bad for those who's family never came around, because they get less help from the staff as well.
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Posted By: tadams(OH)
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 3:10pm
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Prayers for you and your mother and family. My mother is 96 and is in a resthome and has been the for a few years. Hope they treat her as good as the one my mother is in,
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Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 8:52pm
Tom, I know that was a tough thing to do. Prayers for your Mom and you. If she lay in the floor for that long it was the good LORD watching over her. Most of the time the outcome is not good. You are blessed to have had her this long.
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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.
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Posted By: Tracy Martin TN
Date Posted: 02 Aug 2023 at 9:30pm
Prayers for a speedy recovery and great care! God Bless!
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No greater gift than healthy grandkids!
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Posted By: Thad in AR.
Date Posted: 03 Aug 2023 at 6:03am
Prayers for your momma and for you and your family.
Been going through this for a couple years.
Finally added my brother as a power of attorney also. He fought me on everything. I finally had to put the ball in his court and let him handle it. He then began to beg for help and found himself way overwhelmed.
We now have a very good understanding and he’s stepped up in a big way.
She did not like the first place we put her. It was very nice and close to home. We could stop by every day after work.
For whatever reason she didn’t like it there.
She is now in a dumpy place an hour away in the city and seems much happier there.
If she’s happy I’m happy.
What I have learned is to trust her instincts.
If she seems unhappy with something there probably is a hidden reason.
I watch closely as the help interacts with her. I see no red flags at this new place.
I hope all works out for your family Tom.
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Posted By: 200Tom1
Date Posted: 03 Aug 2023 at 9:56pm
Mom seems to be very happy there. No cooking, no cleaning, which she found vary hard to do. You are right, medicare pays for 65 days. After that it's $3000.00 per month for her care. She is about 13 miles one way from my house, instead of the 65 miles one way that she was. I'm not a talker, but we'll figure out how to communicate about something.
I've got 500+ bottles of flavored honey to deliver to a store in Valley Junction. I emptied a 55 gallon barrel of honey tonight so it looks like I'll be in the honey shed all day tomorrow blending flavoring into honey. It's a boring job, good thing I don't drink beer, etc.
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Posted By: Scott B
Date Posted: 05 Aug 2023 at 9:07pm
Sorry to hear this Tom. Thoughts are with. Had to move my Dad multiple times. It’s hard but for the best.
If you have a smart phone, email all that paperwork to yourself and keep in a file or easy search. I was constantly needing it and you’ll find it’s not always readily available when you need it. Doing this one little trick helps ton as your navigating the business end of things and dealing w your emotions at same time.
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D17 Series 1
Allis B- 1939
Allis B- 1945
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Posted By: shameless dude
Date Posted: 05 Aug 2023 at 9:35pm
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been there too Tom, I feel for you and the family....it's tough. I think about this sometimes if/when it comes to me or the old lady......oooooops.....I mean the loving wife, how we'd feel.
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Posted By: 200Tom1
Date Posted: 05 Aug 2023 at 10:06pm
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I had 450 bottles of honey to take to Des Moines this afternoon. I came back thru town and stopped to see mom. It was 5;00, time for supper. She was thinking it was time for breakfast. We were hoping she could get strong enough to go home in 7 weeks. I'm not sure she will ever go back home. She is stronger than she has been in weeks. We'll see. I do like the place. The workers are great.
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Posted By: shameless dude
Date Posted: 07 Aug 2023 at 1:52am
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I don't like saying this....but usually those places keep the residents drugged up some so the family will keep them in the home. I know a few people that were put in them to re-cooperate from something they had and couldn't stay in the hospital, they ended up dying there, if the residents go home, they don't make any money. guess that's why there are so many lawsuits against them right now. oh...all the homes are not like that, but alot of them are. I pray your Mom will level out and be able to live longer! we have been thru this
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Posted By: DougG
Date Posted: 23 Aug 2023 at 2:38pm
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When my wife was sick with Leukimia- it was a year long treatment process at Barnes in St Louis, six months in things were going south- they said she had PRESS- chemo drugs had screwed up her brain- they said she was best in a nursing home as it would straighten out- they sent her there to die- Medicare would pay for 30 days and more if she showed improvement, no improvement only worse- this place wasnt bad but no place I or she wanted to be; threw a fit with Barnes, they moved her back there- it was all experiments after that- anyways lots of sadness there but it wasnt all bad in the home; some workers threw Bday parties for the folks there,, quite the experience
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