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EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED

Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=179969
Printed Date: 28 Aug 2025 at 5:05pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
Posted By: Coke-in-MN
Subject: EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 10:29am

 



I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 70 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation

The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?



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Life lesson: If you’re being chased by a lion, you’re on a horse, to the left of you is a giraffe and on the right is a unicorn, what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the carousel.


Replies:
Posted By: Gary
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 10:39am

   Good one Coke

and how very True it all is.

G

Posted By: john(MI)
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 12:17pm
And my watch don't have hands, it just has "NOW" printer on the face.



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D14, D17, 5020, 612H, CASE 446

Posted By: steve(ill)
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 12:23pm
AND THATS FUNNY !!! .......... Good one COKE !

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Like them all, but love the "B"s.

Posted By: FloydKS
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 1:46pm
This one 'fits the bill' all being so true...


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Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die

Posted By: festus51
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 4:22pm
good one and it is true




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We the unwilling Led by the unqualified Doing the impossible for the Ungrateful

Posted By: ihc pickups
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2021 at 5:26pm
Good one Coke. I can relate to about every one of them.

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Mike

Posted By: shameless dude
Date Posted: 22 Apr 2021 at 12:10am
wow...sure glad i ain't like all you old farts!

Posted By: shameless dude
Date Posted: 22 Apr 2021 at 12:11am
i lied

Posted By: klinemar
Date Posted: 22 Apr 2021 at 5:00am
Good one Coke!

Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 22 Apr 2021 at 5:06am

 Good one Coke,,,,,
 I'm gonna send this one to my PCP,,,maybe he'll understand me better,,,,Clap

Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 22 Apr 2021 at 7:04am
Good One, Coke!!!

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Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God.


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