Ugh my wife
Printed From: Unofficial Allis
Category: Other Topics
Forum Name: Shops, Barns, Varmints, and Trucks
Forum Description: anything you want to talk about except politics
URL: https://www.allischalmers.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=178850
Printed Date: 28 Sep 2024 at 9:53am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 11.10 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Ugh my wife
Posted By: Kurt WI
Subject: Ugh my wife
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 2:12pm
|
Don’t know where they get their ideas from but geez! So my wife tells me after all most 6 years of being married and being together more than 7.5 years that she is moving out since I won’t sell the farm or some of the land or quit farming raising Holstein bull calves and quit my off farm part time job and get a full time job or marriage is over! I don’t make enough money for her needs and wants! Even though bills do get paid and such but not enough money to build her a new house! I worked every single to get where I am since I can remember. It’s easy for her to say sell because none of this is hers family’s! I’m a proud 3rd generation on this farm! It’s hard to hear from time to time that oh you got no money compared to other 39 year olds! As she works investments and sees 1st hand what cash some have, while not seeing if they own any property or land! I guess I’m just lost as she will never understand a farmer and I probably won’t ever understand city people. ------------- WD D17D 170 190xt 190xtIII 200 7020 |
Replies:
Posted By: jaybmiller
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 2:34pm
|
Dang Kurt , I feel for you. At least you're young enough and have land ! The good Lord ain't making anymore of that, so I've been told, so do NOT sell any ! I understand the 'love of the land and family farm ties', even though I have neither. Does she have a fulltime job ? If so, she's spending ALL her money and yours and STILL wants MORE ? As long as there's no children, I'd let her walk,just get the 'paperwork' all in order ! Make it a quick and 'amiacble (sp)' split and let HER move on back to the city. Life's too short to be unhappy and stressed out for your next 40-50 YEARS !! I KNOW the fan's going to get 'dirty' here in the next 2 months,oh, to be able to turn back the clock...... ------------- 3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112 Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor) Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water |
Posted By: FloydKS
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 3:04pm
|
Keeping you in prayers as you go the next steps ... of convinceing her you are rich ... OR ? well the down side... One of my older brothers had a first wife who was always wanting more, also ended the marriage. He now has a lovely bride and they are old together ... keep your head up with your principles. ------------- Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 3:22pm
|
Sounds like ole Jay has hit the nail right square,,Kurt. Since you say she DOES got her own job and keeps saying that YOU don't got enough money,,,,,I'm afraid you gonna be fighting this losing battle for ever. Since you don't mention having any children, that right there is in your favor!! I wish you the best Luck,,,,with somebody else,,,,
 |
Posted By: Walker
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 4:11pm
| If it takes two paychecks to sassyfiher id say she needs another job. |
Posted By: Mactractor
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 4:24pm
|
A farm is way harder to get hold of than a good woman is. Keep raisin them calves! |
Posted By: PaulB
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 5:04pm
My wife looking over my shoulder said: "You picked her, man" She also says; #1 let her go #2 take future prospects to a tractor pull and the one that says "that looks like fun, can I do that" and wants her own tractor is a keeper  Watch my wife here https://youtu.be/xxEUbb1qNmo ------------- If it was fun to pull in LOW gear, I could have a John Deere. Real pullers don't have speed limits. If you can't make it GO... make it SHINY |
Posted By: john(MI)
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 5:05pm
|
Sounds like you had the farm before her so she should have no claim ti any of it's value. I'd kick her down the road and be done with it. If you do what she wants, she still won;t be happy and will leave you anyway. I know from experiencing twice. Shut off the cards, get your own bank accounts, and take care of any other necessary aspects. Get a lawyer and get it set up, written down and then put it in front of her and ask her for her signature. I know I sound cold, but that's caused from her attitude. ------------- D14, D17, 5020, 612H, CASE 446 |
Posted By: DougG
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 5:34pm
| Johns right , send her down the road and fast , lifes to short to not be happy - and she already told you how she feels, theres plenty of good ole fashion country gals around yet , life always falls into place |
Posted By: Kurt WI
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 7:15pm
|
Thanks guys that’s what I’m thinking also! I think I could sell the whole farm and get a new job and she still wouldn’t be happy! But I don’t know if it’s just that or if it’s also she’s in lots of pain a lot of times! Yes we don’t have any kids together thank the lord! ------------- WD D17D 170 190xt 190xtIII 200 7020 |
Posted By: DMiller
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 7:24pm
| Live the great design EVERY Day Kurt, stick to your guns as to living YOUR Life as can. Prayers up from here gets better not worse. |
Posted By: Strokendiesel002
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 7:49pm
| The only thing we can do in life is control our own reaction to a given situation. Wishing you and your family the best, regardless of the outcome and remember that while they may or leave a bruise, spoken words can never be unheard and unspoken words will haunt you for the rest of your life. |
Posted By: steve(ill)
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 8:19pm
|
Well, you could stay at the farm, rent out the ground, be a land lord, and get a full time job............ BUTT... would she be happy then ? Im guessing NO . ------------- Like them all, but love the "B"s. |
Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 8:26pm
|
Kurt, some very good advice has been posted already. Another thing to keep in mind is that she is not the only one that needs to be happy, your welfare needs to be taken into consideration also. Money can not make you happy, happiness is a product of joy and peace within yourself. As others have already said - cut your losses asap and find someone who is willing to treat marriage as a partnership. The farm is your heritage and no amount of money can replace that. ------------- Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God. |
Posted By: Michael V (NM)
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 8:30pm
| I'm also taking a trip down this road,,the last 15-20 years we have just been roommates, and nothing more,we got to where we done nothing together, including huggy/kissy she now lives down the road....no papers worked up yet, but more than likely will be eventually.. |
Posted By: Tracy Martin TN
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 8:52pm
|
I have been down that road. Broke my heart at the time. One of the best things to ever happen once a little time went by. I couldn't imagine being married to her at this point in my life. The drama that followed her wasn't worth it. Got Hannah 21 years now , best move I ever made. Way better than I deserve and enjoys most everything I do. We are like Peas and Carrots! Prayers for you, it gets easier as time goes on.God Bless! ------------- No greater gift than healthy grandkids! |
Posted By: jaybmiller
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 9:05pm
|
OK, we all probably know the answer to this but.... re: I don’t make enough money for her needs and wants! Put the 'shoe on the other foot'. What would she say if you said,'honey YOU need to pay for the barn repairs cause the big bull got upset'. Would SHE actually PAY the bill ? Also take pictures with date in them of everything,every room, every angle, NOW...for future reference. I've found the better prepared I was for a 'battle', I never HAD to go to battle. ------------- 3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112 Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor) Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water |
Posted By: Alex09(WI)
Date Posted: 06 Mar 2021 at 9:29pm
|
Man that sucks! Sorry to hear of your troubles Kurt! The guys on here have voiced their opinions but keep in mind that your own take on the situation is blinded by your love for her! Even loving her partially will not allow you to see the situation from an independent 3rd party point of view. You need to confide in someone you trust, an unbiased 3rd party, who has known you since before you met your wife and ask them to give you their honest take on the situation. They will know the situation, you, and her, better than we do! As humans, when we are in love, we cannot see the whole picture because our personal feelings get in the way of making decisions that otherwise would be based on facts and logic. ------------- www.awtractor.com A&W TRACTOR 920-598-1287 KEEPING ALLIS-CHALMERS IN THE FIELDS THROUGH THE 21ST CENTURY |
Posted By: fixer1958
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 4:38am
|
Had a friend that had a 600 acre family farm. Sold it all off gradually to try and make her happy with money. She's bailed when it ran out and he's in bad health because the stress ate him alive. Best of luck in what you choose to do. |
Posted By: DiyDave
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 4:40am
best legal advice I can give, is to not ask for legal advice, over the home computer. Her atty will do a search, to see what you have been up to here, and on other sites, so if the time comes, everything said here, will be part of the record... ------------- Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need! |
Posted By: jaybmiller
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 6:21am
|
GREAt ! In that case, her atty will know if he don't act accordingly I got a piece of lead waiting for him ------------- 3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112 Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor) Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water |
Posted By: dr p
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 6:52am
| Been there done that for the exact same reasons. You already got the best advice get her name off every credit card you can. She sounds like she doesn't know what will make her happy. Lawyers will try to make it nasty. I would try to come with a settlement through divorce mediation if you can do that in Wisconsin |
Posted By: jaybmiller
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 7:12am
|
hmm, get it done PDQ otherwise the only winners will be the lawyers....... you get all the pain, they get all YOUR money ------------- 3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112 Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor) Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water |
Posted By: modirt
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 9:27am
|
Gene Watson......."Fourteen Caret Mind". Concept is an old one......subject of songs, movies and was a central theme in many old TV westerns. Best to cut your losses. Good news is the right partner is out there....you just have not found her yet.
|
Posted By: JTOOL
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 11:03am
|
Sorry for your situation Kurt. I pray that you and your wife can work things out. Man, marriage is hard. My bride and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this past June and to be honest, more often than not, we are a freaking dumpster fire. But, we keep going. The band Casting Crowns has a song called Broken Together that kind of describes our situation. I'll try and post the link. Hope this helps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhxELo-uD3c" rel="nofollow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhxELo-uD3c
|
Posted By: john(MI)
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 11:47am
Get it done! A friend never bothered to and he got took for a ride when he finally had to get it done. Even tho they'd been apart about 25 years, she got half of everything, including his retirement! I was totally shocked that a person would do that, but that's life. My two were very amicable and everything went smooth, I hope you can too! ------------- D14, D17, 5020, 612H, CASE 446 |
Michael V (NM) wrote:Posted By: DanWi
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 11:54am
|
A little divorce humor, There was a good size grain farmer and the family did some tractor pulling with a couple different vehicles, so his wife want a divorce. They had 2 comparable parcels of land he tells her she can take her pick of either one as there was a $1,000,000 borrowed against each one, this was in the 1980's so the million seemed like a little more money then, She could have her half.
|
Posted By: festus51
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 11:56am
|
Sounds just like my EX. Hated the farm . I had to buy my land back from her. That was 15 years ago. I am so happy now even though it was expensive. I would open the door for her and I would file for divorce first. Been there, good luck ------------- We the unwilling Led by the unqualified Doing the impossible for the Ungrateful |
Posted By: DiyDave
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 5:51pm
A request? https://youtu.be/DiNzRKFNvVA" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/DiNzRKFNvVA ------------- Source: Babylon Bee. Sponsored by BRAWNDO, its got what you need! |
Posted By: Kurt WI
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 6:52pm
You know I gave up all rented ground and even rented out the back half of the farm for the last 3 years as a way to calm her down before already. Just kept enough for the feeding the calves. 2 years ago was a bad year for straw so you know it we needed to buy some and it was like I was spending her money to keep the calves bedded down. So I cut back on calves so then we could travel more and went for a week to Kentucky. Yet not enough money for her new house! ------------- WD D17D 170 190xt 190xtIII 200 7020 |
Posted By: Kurt WI
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 6:58pm
She’s only been gone 2 days and on me to get my phone changed over to my own, or give her the phone back! I’m like hello you left on Friday and how do you think I’m gonna get to town and get my own phone line, it’s not like I left the farm and the work disappeared! ------------- WD D17D 170 190xt 190xtIII 200 7020 |
Posted By: Mactractor
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 8:46pm
|
You are getting off at the right station Kurt before the 'train wreck'. |
Posted By: Hubert (Ga)engine7
Date Posted: 07 Mar 2021 at 9:06pm
|
Kurt, just want to let you know that you are not alone in this. I and many others on this Forum are praying for you. This is a tough situation but look to the Lord for wisdom and guidance on what to do. With her attitude I personally think cutting your losses is the better option. Also I think that by moving out she has given you a bit of an advantage. ------------- Just an old country boy saved by the grace of God. |
Posted By: Thad in AR.
Date Posted: 08 Mar 2021 at 5:23am
|
I’m gonna second what Hubert says above. Prayers headed out to you both. Stay strong and keep faith. The road may have a few bumps but you’ll make it through. |
Posted By: tadams(OH)
Date Posted: 08 Mar 2021 at 9:59am
|
Yes Prayers headed your way |
Posted By: shameless dude
Date Posted: 08 Mar 2021 at 11:07pm
| if she's crying for more money now....you'll never have enough! prayers for you on this. |
Posted By: Ted J
Date Posted: 09 Mar 2021 at 10:51pm
|
Prayers coming from here too Kurt. It is not a thing I'd wish on anybody, the pain, the agony, the WTH..........but in the end you'll feel SO much better and free again. Don't wait around, get it done. Follow your heart and use your head. Your heart is the farmer in you. Damn city women just don't understand. ------------- "Allis-Express" 19?? WC / 1941 C / 1952 CA / 1956 WD45 / 1957 WD45 / 1958 D-17 |
Posted By: ac45dave
Date Posted: 10 Mar 2021 at 8:30am
|
Another request to lighten the mood on this.Been through this myself,hang in there bud,there are better days ahead when this is over. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF26inivm2I" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF26inivm2I ------------- 54 wd-45gas ; 56 wd-45d N/F w/fact p/s ; 63 d-17 sIII N/F gas ; 60 D14 N/F ; 67 d-17 sIV N/F gas ; 63D15 sII W/F; 39rc#667 ; 2021 massey 4710 fwa ; gravely 2 wheel tractors |
Posted By: Walker
Date Posted: 10 Mar 2021 at 5:17pm
| She got the gold mine and I got the shaft. |
Posted By: Dirt Farmer
Date Posted: 10 Mar 2021 at 9:39pm
|
Keep your head up, be strong, God wont give you more than you can handle. The link below should add a chuckle to your day https://youtu.be/atBg9zLI2bA" rel="nofollow - https://youtu.be/atBg9zLI2bA |
Posted By: LeonR2013
Date Posted: 10 Mar 2021 at 10:06pm
| Her new boyfriend is wanting more money. Leon |
Posted By: desertjoe
Date Posted: 11 Mar 2021 at 3:33am
That right there is very possible, Leon,,,,,,
|