I use to be a normal person

I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was

born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it
or not, makes me privileged, a racist, and responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards,
makes me a fascist because I plan, budget, and support myself.

I went to Grammar School and have always held a job. But I now find
out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was
"advantaged.”


I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.


I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.  I am older than
70, making me a useless dinosaur who doesn't understand Facebook,
Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat.


I think, and I reason, and I doubt most of what the ‘mainstream’
media tells me, which makes me a Right-wing conspiracy nut.


I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive culture, making me a xenophobe.


I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair reward according to each
individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.


I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort - not freedom of
outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.


I believe in the defense and protection of my nation for and by all
citizens, now making me a militant.


I am proud of our flag, what it stands for, and the many who died to
let it fly, so I stand during our National Anthem - so I must be a
radical.


Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not
sure who I am anymore!


Funny - it all took place over the last decade!


If all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with, now I don't even
know which toilet to use... and these days I gotta go more frequently!