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desertjoe 
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13696
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 Topic: they figured it out,,,,,
Posted: 20 Nov 2018 at 6:18pm |
For those of you who worry about Democrats versus Republicans -- relax, here's our real problem.In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing thequalifications to be President of the United States. It waspretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen ofat least 35 years of age.However, one girl in the classroom immediately started in on how unfair it was of the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In, short her opinion was that this requirementprevented many capable individuals from becoming President.The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not manyjaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating,"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to leadthey country than one born by C-section?"Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections!
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13696
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Posted: 20 Nov 2018 at 6:20pm |
nother one,,,,, A man approaches his best friend's wife one day when her husband is at the office. "Will you have sex with me?" he asks.
"No. My husband wouldn't approve."
"O.K. What if I give you $1000?"
"Well, for a $1000 I think I will. Come back tomorrow afternoon when my husband is at work."
So the man shows up next day and slaps $1000 on the table and they do whatever it was they did(!!!). In the evening her husband comes home a little distraught:
"Was my best friend here today?"
"Y-y-yes." his wife says with concern.
"And did he leave $1000?"
"Y-y-yes." she says expecting the worst.
"Oh good, what a great pal he is. He came in yesterday morning and asked if he could borrow $1000 from me and promised to return it this afternoon!" | |
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13696
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Posted: 20 Nov 2018 at 6:23pm |
OK,,,,ok,,just one more,,I'm on a roll,,,,,
immy Carter gave a speech to Medical College of Georgia students a few years ago. He described how his mother, a nurse, handled a difficult patient:
The man was a hypochondriac. Worse, he was obnoxious and demanding. The nurses would dread having to go into his hospital room to find out what the complaint was this time.......
Ms Lillian was in the room on a particularly bad day, listened to the abusive complaint and then said, "Sounds terrible, I'll need to take your temperature."
"No, not oral, we'll need a more accurate reading. Roll over."
After the insertion, Ms Lillian left the room to go to the nurses' station, but left the door open.
The patient soon heard giggling and turned his head to see a group of student nurses standing in the doorway. "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen someone getting his temperature taken?"
One of the students, still giggling, replied "Yes sir, but I've never seen it done with a daisy."
Don't think they do that anymore................. | |
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13696
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Posted: 20 Nov 2018 at 6:35pm |
UMMMmmm,,,,,I trick'ed ya'll,,,,,,and I don't count too good when I;m havin fun,,,,,  A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of "dumb blonde" jokes, when a blond woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting.
"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes, jerk. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
"What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde says:
"You stay out of this, Mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
OK,,,I'm outa here,,,,, | |
Edited by desertjoe - 20 Nov 2018 at 6:36pm
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DiyDave
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: Gambrills, MD
Points: 54119
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Posted: 20 Nov 2018 at 6:55pm |
 desertjoe wrote:
OK,,,,ok,,just one more,,I'm on a roll,,,,,
immy Carter gave a speech to Medical College of Georgia students a few years ago. He described how his mother, a nurse, handled a difficult patient:
The man was a hypochondriac. Worse, he was obnoxious and demanding. The nurses would dread having to go into his hospital room to find out what the complaint was this time.......
Ms Lillian was in the room on a particularly bad day, listened to the abusive complaint and then said, "Sounds terrible, I'll need to take your temperature."
"No, not oral, we'll need a more accurate reading. Roll over."
After the insertion, Ms Lillian left the room to go to the nurses' station, but left the door open.
The patient soon heard giggling and turned his head to see a group of student nurses standing in the doorway. "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen someone getting his temperature taken?"
One of the students, still giggling, replied "Yes sir, but I've never seen it done with a daisy."
Don't think they do that anymore................. | |
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Reminds me of the one MD joke, I can remember, right now: Two docs are walking down the hallway, one reaches above his ear, for a pen, to write something down, looks at the thermometer, in his hand, and asks the other, can I borrow your pen, some Ahole has mine...
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