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jaybmiller 
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Greensville,Ont
Points: 24664
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 Topic: I got a giggle....
Posted: 29 Feb 2020 at 10:27am |
A Texas farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There
he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his
big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are
at least twice as large."
Then they walk around
the ranch a little more and the Aussie shows off his heard of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, "We have Longhorns that are at least twice
as large as your cows."
The conversation had
almost died when the Texan saw a heard of kangaroos hopping through the
field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
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3 D-14s,A-C forklift, B-112
Kubota BX23S lil' TOOT( The Other Orange Tractor)
Never burn your bridges, unless you can walk on water
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chaskaduo
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Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 29 Feb 2020 at 12:06pm |
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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Andy E
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Location: NJ
Points: 102
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Posted: 29 Feb 2020 at 8:45pm |
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Good one jay
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Thad in AR.
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Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Arkansas
Points: 9654
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Posted: 01 Mar 2020 at 5:34am |
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I like it.
A Texan was driving the back roads of Arkansas and came across an old hillbilly moving a few cows across the road. He tells the hillbilly, you must have quite a spread here. How many acres?
The hillbilly says start at that red oak yonder and head down towards that pond. Turn right and follow those cedars till ya get to the barn . From the barn it goes east right up past the house over to that big old stump then turns and comes right back here.
The Texan says, well that’s something but where I live you can start driving across my ranch at daylight and never get to the other side by dark.
Ole hillbilly looks at him grins and says I understand ya see I bought a Chevy once too.
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desertjoe
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Joined: 23 Sep 2013
Location: New mexico
Points: 13696
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Posted: 01 Mar 2020 at 10:06am |
Thats a good one ,,,Thad,,,,but,,but,,,when ole you know who wakes up,,,,he gonna make you realize that winter ain't quite over yet,,,,,,, 
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Ray54
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Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Location: Paso Robles, Ca
Points: 4731
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Posted: 01 Mar 2020 at 7:07pm |
 chaskaduo wrote:
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The preacher got talking about John the Baptist eating locust in the sermon this morning. Maybe he didn't have to work as hard as I was a thinking to stay feed. But I am guessing your showing off the Texas hi bred hopper.
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chaskaduo
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Joined: 26 Nov 2016
Location: Twin Cities
Points: 5200
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Posted: 02 Mar 2020 at 8:41am |
Actually it's the new Monsanto GMO Hopper. 
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1938 B, 79 Dynamark 11/36 6spd, 95 Weed-Eater 16hp, 2010 Bolens 14hp
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TimNearFortWorth
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Joined: 12 Dec 2009
Points: 2014
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Posted: 02 Mar 2020 at 1:14pm |
Texan on his first trip to Paris and get's in the taxi from the airport to head to his hotel, telling the taxi driver in his thick Texas drawl that he wants to take in some sights on the way. Every notable place they go by, the French taxi driver slows and describes the national monument with pride, how old it is and how proud the French are with the history of it, only to have the Texan reply "we've got plenty of those in Texas but our's are of course built much bigger in Texas". Frenchman starts getting more pi$$ed off but continues the tour only to keep being told how Texas has all of it and bigger. As they approach the Eiffel Tower, the Texan exclaims from the back seat "stop, what in the Sam hell is that big thing?"
To which the Frenchman calmly replies, "I do not know, it wasn't there yesterday".
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Thad in AR.
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Location: Arkansas
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Posted: 02 Mar 2020 at 2:02pm |
TimNearFortWorth wrote:
Texan on his first trip to Paris and get's in the taxi from the airport to head to his hotel, telling the taxi driver in his thick Texas drawl that he wants to take in some sights on the way.Every notable place they go by, the French taxi driver slows and describes the national monument with pride, how old it is and how proud the French are with the history of it, only to have the Texan reply "we've got plenty of those in Texas but our's are of course built much bigger in Texas". Frenchman starts getting more pi$$ed off but continues the tour only to keep being told how Texas has all of it and bigger. As they approach the Eiffel Tower, the Texan exclaims from the back seat "stop, what in the Sam hell is that big thing?"
To which the Frenchman calmly replies, "I do not know, it wasn't there yesterday".
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That just made my day
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TimNearFortWorth
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Joined: 12 Dec 2009
Points: 2014
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Posted: 02 Mar 2020 at 7:23pm |
On the flip side as I've now lived here in TX for near on 20 years and enjoy it.
Two girls at the water cooler at their job in a high rise in NYC are discussing vacation options. The one tells her co-worker that she should visit TX as she can do the Hill Country, Piney Woods of East TX, The Alamo and even go down to Corpus on the coast, then they part ways. About a month later, the gals run into each other at work and the first one asks her co-worker if she ever took that vacation and where did she go? The other gal advises she did go to TX and started telling of all the wonderful places she went. Then the first gal asks "well, did you have one of those TX men?"
To which the 2nd gal says "hell no, you ever seen the condoms those TX men carry in their back pocket?"
You "dippers" will get that one . . . . |
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steve(ill)
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Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Location: illinois
Points: 87703
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Posted: 02 Mar 2020 at 8:03pm |
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NOW THATS FUNNY !!
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Like them all, but love the "B"s.
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